If one more engineer says, “Oh, you’re in Weinberg” like it’s an insult, I’m going to get really mad. And do nothing. But that’s not the story the kids who sit around me in Anthropology are going to hear. Oh no.
They’ll hear how I threw out some big words (“pretentious”) and then said 2+2=5, 3+3=7, and so on, until the SOB started yelling “Does not compute! Does not compute!” and finally passed out.
I wouldn’t be a true Weinberger if I didn’t do two things. First I would say “I feel like…” and “I think that.” Second, I would compare McCormick School of Engineering and Applied Science, Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences, School of Communication and the other schools to Harry Potter. I’ll spare our McCormick readers (or reader) the in-depth comparison and simply say that Weinberg is obviously Gryffindor.
In the Northwestern hierarchy, Weinberg is in the middle. McCormick >Weinberg > Communication. School of Music is off the charts in pretentiousness.
Before I get a bunch of music majors bitching me out, I want you to know that this isn’t a broad generalization. I’ve met at least one music major who’s a pompous ass. And as for journalists, well, I’m just afraid of them.
Engineers like to assume that Weinberg is a school where all we do is read books and talk in class. I feel like this isn’t the case. I mean, it’s somewhat true, ya know, but not totally. I mean, there is a lot of reading and talking, but there’s a language requirement too.
CASlings think that, in the School of Communication, you go to classes like “Intermediate S’more Making: Chocolate to Marshmallow Ratio,” and “How to Talk 495: Way Too Fucking Much.”
Somewhere between being accepted to NU and actually arriving, I had the notion that college would be some sort of smart-kid paradise. No one would compare penis leng – errrr – , SAT scores. Everyone would just assume we’re all on the same playing field. And then I arrived.
McCormick, 5 AP creds, 1580, BME, HPME, Orgo: It all happened so fast. One minute, I’m shaking some guy’s hand, and the next, he’s talking about how he answered the “What one phrase is most important to learn in a foreign language when visiting the country” question on the class of 2008 application.
He answered “Where’s the bathroom?’ Try to come up with some a little more original, you tool. it was about then that I realized that we weren’t all on equal ground. Kids who were hot shit in their high schools were now in a place where they were afraid that they may be (gasp!) in the middle of their class.
So now they go around flaunting all of their accomplishments. This means they go around spewing all of the information on their applications, trying to prove that they belong here.
Seriously kids, relax. Be proud of whatever school you’re in. You’re in McCormick, awesome. You’re probably amazing at math and science. Don’t be a dick about it. I’m in Weinberg. I don’t need an inferiority complex, so I don’t compare myself to McCormick. I don’t need an inflated ego, so I don’t compare myself to Communication. We all filled out the application, we all challenged ourselves in high school, and we’re all at NU, doing whatever makes us happy.
Fortunately, knowing that the ass that engineers get is inversely proportional to their GPAs (to you Communications Studies majors, that means the higher the GPA, the less frequent the tail), and knowing that most Communication schoolers can’t tie their shoes without drooling all over themselves makes me very happy.
Josh Urich is a Weinberg sophomore. He can be reached at [email protected].
