You may have noticed — if you keep up with the happenings of The Daily Northwestern’s opinion section — that I have some competition now. Long gone are the days of me being the sole narrative lifestyle columnist in The Daily.
I guess that makes me the blueprint?
Well, because I just adore sharing the wealth, I have decided that I may as well publish my recipe instead of leaving you with my leftovers to microwave.
First, it’s good to make the opening line a little irreverent: Something a tad spicy to make the people keep eating — I mean — reading. Bonus points if it leads into some cute anecdote, but that isn’t an essential ingredient.
See how I’ve been peppering in some food puns? That’s a shameless reference to one of my previous columns. Continuity is great, and seasoned columnists know how to establish a canon.
At this point, if you’ve been cooking up joke after joke, it might be time to sprinkle in a little sage. You don’t need too much — just enough to give your dish a bit more body.
It shouldn’t take a super refined palate to be able to taste the essential flavors of your plate. You want to make your cooking accessible. Maybe not to people who are allergic to Red 40. I know it’s a carcinogen and all that, but seriously, a dye allergy? Come on, now.
As I just displayed, a little polarizing herb stirred in (cilantro, I’m looking at you) does wonders for a recipe. Makes people talk.
If you want to add more body to your sauce, you can add a little slurry here, but don’t make it too thick. You want your guests to be able to find the meat without having to work too hard for it.
I once read that a good chef does more than perfect her own dishes — she trains future cooks to follow suit. I know this might seem to contradict the idea that “those who can, do, and those who can’t, teach,” but I believe that those who really can, do both.
At least with Chef Sylvie, the proof is definitely in the pudding. I mean, hello, you’re eating this up.
And, if one is a true gourmand, she’ll receive satisfaction, sometimes even praise, every time someone follows her instructions, even if they falsely claim to have invented the recipe.
So, my trainees, I hope this recipe serves you well. I know you’ll make the dish your own so you need not credit your teacher.
Hopefully I didn’t offend any of you chicks, maybe I’ll say I was making Chilaquiles to justify cracking a few eggs.
A final piece of advice: Move quickly — keep it short and sweet. Nobody wants to let something chill in the fridge overnight.
I think that’s all I’ve got. I’m going to have to cook up some more puns if I want to keep Chef Sylvie going.
In the meantime, it’s up to you to top your chips off with salt and pepper to taste, serve, and enjoy!
Sylvie Slotkin is a Medill junior and author of “Communal Shower Thoughts.” She can be contacted at [email protected]. If you would like to respond publicly to this op-ed, send a Letter to the Editor to [email protected]. The views expressed in this piece do not necessarily reflect the views of all staff members of The Daily Northwestern.
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