I really did not want to go to my formal at the end of last quarter. It was during reading week and I was all kinds of stressed, plus I wasn’t feeling well. Then, less than an hour before I was supposed to start taking photos, my date canceled on me and I all but exploded.

“You’re fun, you know you can have fun without a date,” my mom said to me on the phone, trying to talk me down. I contemplated that for a second, staring at my face in the mirror thinking my eyes looked pretty and sparkly from my tears.

“I know,” I said to her. “But I just really want to go to bed.”

We went back and forth for a while, and then I decided I couldn’t waste the opportunity to wear my mom’s outfit I had her send me for the occasion: a black maxi slip dress with red floral appliqués and a matching scarf.

Despite not having fun at my formal, I am really glad I went — and not just for the couple good photos I got for my end-of-quarter “photo dump.”

I know exactly what would have happened if I hadn’t gone. I would have spent the night beating myself up for not going and wondering what would have happened if I had. Sure, in retrospect I wasn’t really missing anything, but hindsight makes everything seem more obvious.

And, I think having negative life experiences can certainly form net positives in life. I gained so much valuable insight that night, I literally started writing this instalment on the party bus.

For starters, you can go into a situation with the best intentions and attitude and it can still be uncomfortable. I feel so secure around my girlfriends but trying to dance flanked by two of them with their respective dates holding them from behind was one of the most disconcerting experiences of my life.

It’s okay to accept that there are some scenarios that no amount of mental reframing can make seem enjoyable. When you do, it becomes easier to detach yourself from the discomfort and focus on the fact that they are often temporary.
The night turned itself around, because when the buses rolled into the University Place cul de sac, I had the satisfaction of knowing that I would likely never have that experience again.

I almost didn’t want to write this column because I don’t want people to get the impression I am losing sleep over the fact that I attended one sorority formal sans date, because it really is not that deep.

I gained a new life experience and a fresh outlook. I have no ill will toward the kid I was supposed to go with. Thanks to him, I got to start my spring quarter with my first column already mostly written. How lucky am I?

I only needed to experience being bailed on once though, so if anyone reading this is so lucky as to get to be my date to an upcoming event, as my mom would tell you, I am really fun.

Sylvie Slotkin is a Medill sophomore. She can be contacted at sylvieslotkin2027@u.northwestern.edu. If you would like to respond publicly to this op-ed, send a Letter to the Editor to opinion@dailynorthwestern.com. The views expressed in this piece do not necessarily reflect the views of all staff members of The Daily Northwestern.