When I was in seventh grade, I asked my dad to wake me up twice a week when he went to the gym in our building’s basement so I could run on the treadmill. Back then, I was wildly insecure about my body and thought working out might help me overcome that.

I had it hammered in my head from a young age that cardio was for girls and weights were for boys. There was one reason to work out as a girl — to be skinnier — and the way to do that was through cardio.

Now as a college student, I choose to love my body because it is a part of me, and I show my body love by taking care of it. The problem is, when I walk into a public gym, I still find myself drawn to the treadmill.

Running on the treadmill is safe: I have my own machine, my own space and I know how to use it. It’s easy to make a beeline toward the treadmill, turn my mind off while listening to music and run. Coming up with and executing exercises involving weights, benches and non-intuitive machines requires a lot more intentionality.

If running is your thing, that’s fine. In fact, I have grown to appreciate cardio as a vital part of exercise. But, I don’t think it should be that every time I enter a public gym, it’s almost all girls on the treadmills and all guys lifting weights — an issue that’s been commented on across decades. In 2003, University of Washington Bothell Prof. Shari Dworkin found a 90/10% or 80/20% gender split in weight rooms favoring men.

Strength training, as a woman, is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve started doing for myself and my health. Every time I walk up to the weight rack and grab a set of dumbbells, I’m working toward a more powerful version of myself.

Working out feels more impactful because I’m not doing it to look different, I’m doing it to feel different. Instead of working out to fit social norms, I’m working out to defy them. When I feel my muscles burn, I feel myself becoming better equipped to navigate my everyday life.

Just the other day, I found myself able to completely mix a cake batter by hand without taking any rest; pre-strength training me would never. I’m now the friend people go to to open their jars — it’s amazing.

Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, both physically and mentally, does wonders for your self-esteem. With every extra set or pound I add to my workouts, I am showing myself just how much I am capable of.

I still get nervous in the gym — when I try a new exercise, or if it’s particularly crowded. I get nervous that I’m being judged by people, particularly “gym bros,” men whose entire personalities seem to revolve around going to the gym and making others feel bad for their habits. In my head, they’re sizing up my form and questioning whether or not I deserve to be in ‘their’ space.

With that said, if there really are people watching me workout criticising my form, I am in no way negatively impacted. If anything, I am fueled by the thought of others’ judgement. Sometimes, I do an extra bicep curl just to spite them.

Exercise is such an important form of self care, but it can also be full of mental roadblocks. For me, one of those roadblocks is taking up space, flitting from my mat to the weight racks — it’s why I find myself drawn to the treadmill. But, running in place did not make me feel holistically strong.

Having escaped the treadmill, I have never felt more love for my body and all it is capable of. Having escaped the treadmill, I feel myself making strides towards a more balanced lifestyle.

Flee with me! I’m in desperate need of a spotter.

Sylvie Slotkin is a Medill sophomore. She can be contacted at [email protected]. If you would like to respond publicly to this op-ed, send a Letter to the Editor to [email protected]. The views expressed in this piece do not necessarily reflect the views of all staff members of The Daily Northwestern.