Firing Squad: A friendly warning to pledge moms creating fake Facebooks

Rohan Nadkarni, Sports Editor

I used to think there was no irrational hatred greater than the one I held for Ohio State. Since the 2001 Fiesta Bowl when they robbed Miami of a national championship, to Jared Sullinger hitting a game-winner to ruin Alex Marcotullio’s miracle three in 2012, the Buckeyes have carried the torch for people I love to hate.

Until I saw “RebeccasPledge Mom” in my “People you may know” on Facebook.

Listen, I’ll be the first to admit I’m a little jealous of the attention pledge moms pour on their daughters. I’d love a week of gifts and grand gestures. And as someone not involved in Greek life but with plenty of friends in the thick of things, I’m pretty ambivalent about the whole system.

But these pledge moms need a serious wake-up call.

What have we come to as a society when we are creating Facebooks for people attempting to conceal their identity for one week? Really? Now I have to be spammed with this crap all over my news feed. Even Manti Te’o hates your stupid fake Facebook page.

And how about a breaking news alert for pledge moms: That freshman girl you’re doting over ISN’T ACTUALLY YOUR DAUGHTER. So when you’re asking me to help you set up a ridiculous display in my dorm at odd, inconvenient hours please stop acting like I’m actually depriving a child if I don’t help you with surprising her.

Like, LOL ZOMG, I actually don’t want to act out “50 Shades of Grey” in a British accent. I don’t want to take off all my clothes in her tiny South-Mid Quads Hall single. Your fake baby (who will soon be your sister) will live, I promise.

Unfortunately, the pledge mom system has no end in sight. And as I’m writing this, I’m watching someone blatantly disregard their homework to engage in pledge mom arts and crafts.

I understand it’s all in good fun, and I know plenty of great people who are pledge moms.

But next time I see that I have mutual friends with “RebeccasPledge Mom,” I might have to reconsider how that happened. (Also, sorry Rebecca, I’m sure you’re a fine girl.)