You may go to a party to forget about homework and the stress of the week, and I’m sure you want to party all night and not go to sleep.

But – and this is a huge but – people aren’t trying to smell all of the stank of your day while sipping on jungle juice.

At a recent party I attended, that was unfortunately what me and an assistant forum editor had to endure: a bunch of stank.

Believe me, I get it. There was a home football game earlier that day and chances are some people were hooping it up for hours before the party. There’s just one thing: the suckers who showed up smelling worse than post-workout underwear disrespected my nose. Hardcore.

All it takes is eight easy steps to keep NU parties from smelling like butt crack. Remember, in the legendary words of Whitney Houston, “crack is whack.”

Go home and disrobe. Get in the shower. Take a towel, loofah sponge or whatever you need. Combine it with some strong, yes strong, soap. Make that soapy towel does an alien landing on your stinking butt crack and all those other nooks and crannies. Rinse and repeat if necessary. Suit up in your best gear. Then, head out for a fun, memorable night that won’t flare up people’s nostrils.

Just keeping it real, folks. Make me proud. Keep in clean, classy and don’t be smelly for the party.

– Derrick Clifton

Deputy forum editor and Daily columnist