The power of prayer is beyond words. Through prayer, you can achieve anything – whether it’s finding your inner strength, smiting your enemies or getting that Xbox 360 your parents were too cheap to buy. You probably think I’m joking – I’m sure you can think of at least one occasion where your prayers went unanswered. If it seems like God isn’t listening, it isn’t due to any lack of faith on your part. It’s simply because you’ve been addressing your prayers to the wrong god.

While most religions share the same basic ideas, this doesn’t entail that every one of their beliefs is true. Otherwise, once you get beyond the basics, what do you have? You’d have Zeus, Thor and Allah duking it out for control of Mt. Valhallameccalympus, and Jesus wouldn’t be able to help because the Hawaiian shark god Kamoho’ali’i just bit his arm off. But I digress. What I’m really trying to say here is that religion is not like the Special Olympics – you don’t get a medal just for trying.

If the past 3,000 years are any indication, determining the identity of the One True God will be no small task. Endless debates filled with the same old theological rhetoric won’t get us anywhere. Instead, I recommend we settle it just like we do on the streets.

That’s right, folks