By Margo ScottPLAY Columnist
Anyone who knows me well can tell you I keep odd hours. For some reason, I can’t sleep. I don’t drink coffee or eat sugar after 8 p.m. and I’ve tried pills, teas, you name it. Eventually, I get so exhausted that I pass out somewhere random for like 4 hours and all is well. But, on to the sex part of my sex column.
This inability to regulate my sleep has made me quite the connoisseur of late night TV. I am well-versed in all sorts of useless shit – that you, too, can own in your home for just four easy payments of $19.99. That, and porn. So, for all of you who actually sleep at night, here is a subjective and abbreviated list of my fave flicks in a variety of genres, in no particular order.
LESBIAN: Coming Home: Real bodies, real couples, real hott. Dominatrix Waitrix: Queer, campy tale of a robotic waitress who comes to the aide of frustrated food service workers. Hilarious costumes and awesome sex scenes, including one with a pepper grinder.
FETISH: This is kind of a personal category, as those who are into the kinkier side of life can be very particular. But, I think Belladonna’s Fetish Fanatic series provides a good overall smattering of lots of different kinds of, shall we say, proclivities, but they all star women. E-mail me if you have a more specific request.
BISEXUAL: Homophobic frat daddies take note: the guys in this category sleep with guys – it’s not just girl/girl. Bicurious: two same-sex couples decide to swap partners and end up in a group scene on a very crammed sofa. Slide Bi Me: a company picnic gone sexxxy! Strap-ons, real bodies, group scenes galore.
STRAIGHT WOMEN: I recommend anything by Candida Royalle. Former porn star turned “erotic film” director; she makes movies from a female’s point of view with cute guys. No money shots, excessive close-ups and there’s actual story lines. Some movies are kind of cheesy, but I do like Stud Hunters: 4 guys, 1 gal and only she gets off.
NON-OBNOXIOUS STRAIGHT (MALE) PORN: For those of you who want to watch porn with your mate – or don’t enjoy misogynistic crap while alone, – here are some options. The Fling: Porn vet Randy Spears and up-and-coming star Jessica Drake are a soon-to-be-married couple who want to have one last fling. Marie and Jack: a real couple’s sex life. In fact, any movie by Comstock Films is good.
GAY: Maybe I’m not the first person one would ask for man-on-man action, but I do have some recommendations. Damon and Hunter is about a real-life couple. Sex scenes interrupt them talking about how much they love each other – and then we see the good stuff. Lastly, a classic: Kansas City Trucking Co.
This is just what I think is good, but viewing virgins, take it with a grain of salt. My idea of sexy may be totally different from yours. There is tons out there – don’t be discouraged. Also, veterans, feel free to send suggestions of your faves. A quick note: if you vehemently hate porn for any sort of moral reason, etc., please don’t fill my inbox, no pun intended.
SESP senior Margo Scott is a PLAY sex columnist. She can be reached at [email protected].
