This is not your mother’s courtship. Or a random, drunken night playing “who’s in my mouth?” at the Deuce. This, lovers, is a fling.
That’s right, spring is in the air, and I’m bringing back the art of the fling. What’s a fling, you ask? The seemingly spontaneous – but covertly premeditated and planned – coming together of two acquaintances who paint the town red between shagging like mad. It’s perfect for those with busy lives, out-of-town significant others, or those who are too emotionally damaged to handle a real relationship. For those of you still perplexed, I’ll use an example from my own life to elucidate.
A Northwestern alumnus I went to high school with – who I Facebook message and speak to occasionally – phoned to tell me he’d be in town during Dillo Day weekend and asked if he could accompany me. He offered to give me a tour of NU “underground,” and then we made plans to go to a Cubs game that Monday. Seem like a lot of plans for old high school classmates to have for just one weekend? That’s because we’re setting the stage for a fling. Neither of us is openly admitting it to the other, but we both know what’s up. That’s one of the crucial elements of the fling: the whimsical “surprise” aspect of it all. Second is lots of romance, fun events, probably sex, and other activities you wish you did more often.
The best part of this fling is that he lives in California. That means no awkward booty calls or run-ins, no one-sided desire for more intimacy. It’s brilliant.
A nice, clear end to the shenanigans is the third crucial element for a successful fling. Other important tips for a successful fling for interested parties are: No mention of past, present or future relationships – it kills the mood. Safety is a must. Nothing ruins the sweet memory of a fling more than a phone call six months later about the clap. How can you set one of these fling things up for yourself? Here’s how.
To avoid the aforementioned awkwardness, don’t kick off a fling with a fellow student. This campus is entirely too small. Find someone who has friend(s) coming into town from home or an acquaintance at a neighboring school. There’s a wealth of people around this great city; it would be a pity not to lay a few while you’re here.
Make sure to keep things casual and honest throughout. Don’t send mixed messages. Don’t make plans any further in advance than the next day. In fact, I think it best not to let these things last longer than four days.
The first day is spent feeling out the situation. Does this person have potential? Day two is all about getting it on after causal plans like a game, movie, etc., that is date-ish enough to warrant booty, but still non-committal. Day three generally follows after a night together and is hopefully spent in bed. Day four is the clear send-off, while still honoring the previous three days of fun. So enjoy, flingers; I’ve given you the tools, so spread the love.
SESP junior Margo Scott is a PLAY sex columnist. She can be reached at [email protected].
