My looming graduation caused me to revisit Joshua Rothman’s article in The New Yorker, “Are You the Same Person You Used to Be?” which posits that everyone is either a divider or a continuer. In other words, do you believe that you’ve significantly changed over the course of your life, or, do you believe that you’d be the same, no matter what life threw at you?
Because of the Internet, even if you are a divider and you’ve changed significantly, every version of you is fossilized in the form of tweets, Facebook posts and high school honor rolls. And, I am a remarkably adept Internet paleontologist. If you give me the first name of someone you want to know more about, I can find the specifics of their job, where their parents are from and if they won their eighth grade basketball tournament.
But when you’re a writer, like I am, the Internet not only contains detailed information about you, but an archive of your thoughts and beliefs. They’re out there, forever, for anyone to see, even if they change over time. How scary.
In Rothman’s article, he meditates on a question that’s especially pertinent for nonfiction writers: Does it make sense to use the same name over a lifetime? If you’re going to constantly evolve, why does it make sense to use the same name to represent yourself?
This column, at least for a little while, will be the first result that pops up when you search my name. And because of the fixed nature of names, if you look up “Talia Winiarsky” in 50 years, you’ll still see exactly what I thought as a young woman. I can’t claim a new name — even if I grow into a totally different person with totally different ideas.
This is unique to today’s young writers. My favorite writers’ college musings aren’t on the Internet because it simply didn’t exist when they were students. Robert Caro’s college journalism works aren’t online. Neither are Ezra Klein’s college blogs. This is probably a good thing for them.
This permanence deterred me from publicly writing for a while — obviously, I got over it.
But I worry about the fact that, because of the Internet, you aren’t allowed to change your mind anymore. When you can pull up an old tweet or old article in a second, you can challenge a person’s current beliefs — you can confound personal growth with inconsistency. What does Kamala Harris really think about fracking? What do Democrats actually think about police reform?
I will be the first to admit that the perspective I express in my writing is unique to being a college student. I’ve already changed my mind about some things I’ve written about. However, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
I am aware — sometimes crushingly so — that I have a tremendous amount to learn. For the rest of my life, each day I want to know more than I did the day before. I suspect that I will feel like this far beyond college — even my entire life.
Once, I was discussing the limits of language with my friend, Julia, whose senior thesis was on this very subject, including the fixed nature of names. She was telling me about her project, which involved reading some big books, and the conclusions she reached. When I proposed some hasty solutions — Why should language be limited! –– Julia replied, “These are just observations, Talia. Not everything is didactic.”
At my age, I want every moment to have a lesson. At some point, maybe, I’ll know enough about the world to merely observe. Twenty-two is not that age.
In the chance that you’ are looking me up for whatever reason in the future —– Hello!
I suspect I’m a relatively similar person, but I hope I’ve since become a better writer, and learned a whole lot more. I’ve probably changed my mind on lots of issues. Everyone should be allowed — even encouraged — to do so. If you don’t, you just haven’t thought enough.
As of June 14th, I may no longer have to sit in lecture halls, but I’ll still have a curriculum — that is, thinking in the real world. Going places! Meeting people! Reading and yes, still writing! And I hope to be a student for a long, long time.
Email: [email protected]
X: @winiarskyT
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