People love to hate Lena Dunham.  

At least, that’s what Dunham told The New York Times following the April 14 release of her newest memoir, “Famesick.” 

“I have annoyed people since I was so small,” she said when asked about the public’s intense loathing of her. 

The internet’s hatred of Dunham is inextricably linked with her success. Dunham rose to stardom when she created and starred in the beloved television series “Girls” in 2012. At just 23, she sold “Girls” to HBO and became an acclaimed writer thrust into A-list circles — and a relentless cycle of hate and controversy. 

In “Famesick,” Dunham offers her side of the story. She analyzes why she has long been considered “unlikable” and unpacks the wildfire of hate she has received from the internet regarding her body, success, work and relationships.  

As she dissects her life in the spotlight, she also recounts her struggles with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a chronic condition that causes joint pain. Dunham describes how her sickness worsened under the pressure to please amid her serendipitous rise to fame.  

Dunham ultimately concludes that “getting sick is not that different than getting more famous.” Both experiences upheaved her life, often causing her to lose sight of herself and distance herself from those around her. 

Through the candid retelling of her experiences, Dunham sets up a compelling defense of herself. The memoir is sharp, powerful and, at times, heartbreaking. 

She sheds light on women’s struggles to be heard and supported through illness. She describes the misogyny she experienced as a young writer in Hollywood hustle culture with little support. She details her experience in rehab for a Klonopin addiction. She even addresses an infamous PowerPoint that went viral in 2018 for theorizing that her long-time boyfriend Jack Antonoff  cheated on her with Lorde.  

The memoir is exceptionally well written. I’d expect nothing less from Dunham than a witty page turner where each word is worth reading, relating to and, often, laughing at. 

Still, “Famesick” is easy to misread. Since its release, I have noticed that almost every review or article about the biography focuses on whether or not the memoir “redeems” Dunham and finally justifies her as “likable” to her haters. 

To read “Famesick” and only focus on the small intricacies of Dunham’s mistakes (of which there are many), or to solely look for juicy tidbits of celebrity gossip (of which there are also many), misses the broader point of her story.

What draws people to Dunham — what might cause some to consider her “the voice of a generation”  — is her unrelenting honesty. Throughout the book, Dunham frequently mentions how people recognize her as someone who “gets naked a lot” on television. While this description is literal, it also points to how Dunham is always vulnerable with the world — her most embarrassing memories, her most naive missteps and her most selfish thoughts. 

To read Dunham’s memoir, or to follow along with her career, and expect perfection is a waste of time. Her honesty makes her relatable, but relatability and perfection can’t coexist.

Throughout the book, Dunham can be incredibly frustrating. She makes aggravating decisions and, sometimes, disproportionately blames those around her for mistakes rather than taking accountability herself. 

With “Famesick,” Dunham isn’t looking to be liked. In fact, even she seems to dislike her younger self at times throughout the book. But, she doesn’t try to hide her mess. Instead, she learns to understand it and live with it.

Dunham’s journey is ultimately one of acceptance. Just as she comes to terms with her illness, she also realizes that her life will never be the same because of her fame. She concludes that she will never be perfectly understood by the public. But, for the first time in her life, maybe that is okay.

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X: @emilymlichty

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