“Balls deep.” “Doing the Nasty.” “Poo-tang.” “Tap That Ass.” “Pound the Punanni Pavement.” “Copious Amounts of Booty Sex.” “Shaboink.”
These are just seven of 167 results for “sex or sexual intercourse” in the Online Slang Dictionary, according to my Google search this weekend. Don’t get me wrong – I enjoy talking about sex as much as any college student. But frankly, the way we discuss it is pretty unfair, not to mention really gross.
Our generation makes the frequent mistake of equating “sex” with “penis entering vagina,” despite the fact that there is a whole spectrum of activities that don’t fit this mold. Between our uncreative attitudes about sex and the derogatory vocabulary surrounding it, we’re leaving out thousands of perfectly credible and enjoyable acts.
Take, for example, the phrase “getting it in,” with the “it” being the penis and the target being the female. Isn’t “getting it in” also what you do when you make a cup in beer pong? Isn’t it what you do when you score a hoop in basketball? Are we really equating the physical connection of two individuals via their genitalia to something as trivial as scoring a point?
The concept of “scoring” puts the man in the more powerful position because he both perpetuates the action and reaps the benefits of its success. Terms like “getting some,” “getting ass,” “hitting it” and “taking virginity” enforce the same idea, turning the heterosexual female into a passive semen receptacle. As a female who frequently finds herself on top during intercourse, I strongly object.
In one of my gender studies classes last quarter, Northwestern professor Gregory Ward defined this attitude as “phallocentrism,” the notion that penile penetration is at the center of our conceptualization of sexual intercourse. So does this mean that sex with neither penis nor penetration (for instance two women stimulating one another orally) isn’t really sex? I think not.
It’s 2012, and it’s time for us to recognize that “sex” does not always mean a straight man driving his probably-not-that-powerful member into some eager, penis-loving female. So let’s expand our vocabulary. Here’s my self-defined starter list of more tasteful, more tolerant sex words that are less vulgar and a lot more fun to say.
Getting it on (v.) – A phrase describing the initiation of a sexual act between one or more persons. (i.e., My roommate and her girlfriend were getting it on all night.)
Also: Getting Groovy, Shagging, Going at It
Knockin’ boots (v.) – A sexual phrase originating in the old west. In the cowboy days, a couple would strip down to their boots and the heels would make a “knocking” sound while they were getting physical. This phrase is non-discriminatory – anyone can wear boots. (i.e., We were knockin’ boots in the tent until the Evanston Police found us.)
Making Love (v.) – A more intimate term used to describe a monogamous sexual act in which the partners share an emotional connection. Often accompanied by fond words and post-sex cuddles. (i.e., We ate a delicious dinner at Cozy Noodles and Rice and then made love at his apartment.)
There’s no end to the variety of phrases you can use to talk about sex. But before you use them, pause for a moment and think about how fair they are.
Copulate with care.
