They can sing, dance, act — and even run our country.

Oh, the versatility of entertainers. With the recent deluge ofcultural icons like Arnold Schwarzenegger joining the politicalfray, it has become clear that the heroes we see on the screenmight one day be on Capitol Hill.

But what makes the ideal entertainer turned politician? Thepeople who know best are those who teach politics — andtheater.

“The key is to communicate behind your words that you give youraudience credit for a certain intellectual capacity, a certainsense of humor, a certain capacity for compassion, comprehension,irony, etcetera,” said theater Prof. David Downs. “The ability torespond intimately to one or more people in a public setting: BillClinton was expert at this.”

Said political science Lecturer Lawrence Stuelpnagel:”Celebrities come in with such tremendous name identification, andin Schwarzenegger’s case as an action-hero, that they have abase.

“They have to learn to listen, find ways to connect and have amessage, though,” he added.

Now, combining the insights above, I have discovered the threecelebrities we should all hope represent us one day on Capitol Hillor City Hall, and surely provide a better presentation than thecurrent pseudo-acting company on Capitol Hill, called the 108thCongress.

We must bring in someone from the realm of acting who has had toplay an intelligent character with witty dialogue and quick wit totake on the professional politicians. To do this, I call on Dr.Frasier Crane.

Kelsey Grammar of NBC’s “Frasier” mixes charisma and smarts tomake an ideal political player. Having played psychiatrist Cranefor 19 years — including his days on “Cheers” — Grammar would bewell-informed to the psychological challenges of having to face offagainst professional politicians. Grammar has openly flirted withrunning for Senate in California after “Frasier” is done. With theshow ending this year, the door is open.

Now that the acting position is filled, we need a journalist’sperspective.

For this task there is no one better than “CBS Evening News”anchor Dan Rather, the man who has gone toe-to-toe with SaddamHussein. His absolute hatred of the Bush family would be a welcomechange from the current politics of Texas, his home state. WithRather we could have clever lines like this one said in 2000 onElection Night: “This race is tight like a too-small bathing suiton a too-long ride home from the beach.”

Finally, we need a music personality to balance out the fray:legendary musician Sir Paul McCartney

McCartney, a U.S. citizen since 1985, has promoted animal rightsand vegetarianism since his days in The Beatles. He also paidtribute to the victims of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks byputting on a benefit concert. Add to this his foreign perspective,given his British roots. The world would be a better place with afigure that transcends generations, such as McCartney.

The long and short of it is that celebrities, average Joes,anyone should get involved in the game.

The rise of Schwarzenegger and the flirtations of returning topolitics of TV talk show host Jerry Springer should not be viewedas a joke but rather a wake-up call to all of us who care about thebelieved crooked nature of politics today. Since, as Springer says,the current elitist system is leaving many Americans out in thecold, any American’s fresh voice should be welcome.

A new script in Washington is long overdue.

Political columnist Troy Appel is a Medill sophomore. He can bereached at [email protected].