There’s a bar in West Lafayette, Ind., called Harry’s Chocolate Shop, just a tipsy tumble from Mackey Arena. They sell big plastic bottles of beer there. They also sell T-shirts plastered with the slogan, “Go ugly early.”
Purdue did exactly that Wednesday night, bringing a thin slice of solace to a jaded Northwestern senior. If only Gene Keady’s head exploded after being called for a technical late in the first half (sigh).
See, I hate Purdue. A lot. Drew Brees and Vinny Sutherland ruined my first college road trip. Brees, Joe Tiller and the Boilers’ defense cost me a trip to Pasadena (with an assist from Iowa). I am certain the Mackey Arena media seats will bring early arthritis. That stupid train signal still wakes me up in the middle of the night.
Maybe it’s the losing. Until Wednesday night, I hadn’t seen an NU football or basketball team beat Purdue (I was covering Loyola-Butler when hoops won last year). Four years of the world’s biggest drum, the Keady comb-over, the barbaric Brees birthmark, that eerie “I am an American” poem — and no wins. My reward? Two hours on I-65 and midnight dinners at Steak ‘N Shake.
Maybe it’s an obsession. After all, I frequented that hellish haven six times. That’s six trips through the 15-cent tollbooth on I-65; six trips through malodorous Gary, Ind. Fitting that Purdue’s athletic complex is located on Northwestern Avenue. Bastards made me feel right at home.
On Wednesday afternoon, I came to terms with going oh-for-Purdue. But then it happened.
Retribution.
It was the Kathy Bates of basketball games, 40 minutes of fouls and folly that would make Purdue alum John Wooden vomit. But what better way to wrap up this revolting relationship?
So naturally, some shout-outs are in order.
Thanks to Willie Deane for shorting that layup with 1:14 left. Serves you right for stiffing Mohamed Hachad at the pre-game handshake.
Thanks to Keady for being such an easy target. Few coaches can get two NU students kicked out of the arena. Way to go, guys.
Thanks to some Purdue guy named Austin Parkinson from Northwestern High School in Kokomo, Ind. Four fouls, no points. Shaky night.
And I can’t forget Davor Duvancic, who dissed Purdue’s Ivan Kartelo, who hails from his hometown. In Croatia. Duvancic’s gliding layup off a backdoor feed from Winston Blake was earth shattering.
Big ups to coatless Bill Carmody, who rivaled Keady’s ref haggling all night long. Somewhere Kevin O’Neill is smiling.
Thanks to Jitim Young for making ESPN’s Jay Bilas pay for asserting that Purdue would pound the Cats. If only he’d socked Parkinson for a cheap shot to the head right before halftime.
Thanks to the pudgy referee for reddening Keady’s face. He did a modified chicken dance when signaling a Purdue possession in the first half. Funny little man.
And finally, thanks to the fans for storming the floor. Sure, the Boilers were ranked, but this was more than just an upset. This was an up yours to all those Boilermakers who made me the bitter person I am today.
Now, which way to Harry’s Chocolate Shop?
Adam Rittenberg is a Medill senior. He can be reached at [email protected].
