Clash of the TitansBro-totypes of the world, unite: Your fighting ways will only lead to College ACB back-and-forths and visits from Mary Desler (wait, she left?). Not one, but TWO “pathetic fights” broke out at McFadden’s last Wednesday according to our source, who says that the lovely gentlemen involved were newly minted pledges from Pike and Lodge. A senior in Pike says the fight was in fact, over the then-ongoing rush: “All the Pikes think all the Lodges took our rejects. They just walked over to the Lodge house and were taken in right away.” Word that the Lodge gentlemen rebutted by calling the Pikes “a bunch of lame-a-zoid losers” has yet to be confirmed, but we think the discourse is right in line with the rest of their antics. In other news, someone also threw a brick through a window at Pike’s house in the frat quad. These casual misdemeanors are getting the frat war out of hand. The Weekly bemoans the lack of decorum.
The Straightjacket of rush rulesWe’re mad at the ladies behind sorority rush-not because of how superficial and arbitrary the process seems (well, maybe a little) but because those recruitment chairs are just so darn stodgy with us media types. We wanted to get a Social Diary from an RC and they said no; we tried to take photos of freshmen for our Fashion Breakdown and they said no way. Our only recourse is to make fun of the minutiae of rush, natch. “There’s rules stipulating how many bowls of almonds, carrots and other snacks you can have out,” says our source close to the recruitment process. Apparently, being over-generous with alternative protein sources is a big no-no. For the skits that every house woos their would-be girls with, the sisters aren’t allowed to buy anything for their costume that they wouldn’t wear in their day-to-day lives. That’s right: If that leather -tudded jacket used for a rock star outfit doesn’t look like it could be seen strolling down Sheridan, it’s a rush faux pas. It pains us to report on such silly matters, but that’s the nature of rush week.
Band of Frat BrothersIt was a big deal when Chet Hanks, beloved son of the guy from Cast Away (Tim Hanks? Tad?) and Turner and Hooch, came to Northwestern. Aside from when father was dining in Norris, everyone forgot. However, the Chet Hanks rumor mill swirls up again: He pledged Pike last week and was allegedly thrown immediately into the hazing process, which includes the time-honored tradition of mopping the floors of the off-campus houses. Mr. Hanks introduced himself to the in-house brothers as simply “Chet,” and it was only until after he had left that he was found out. Says one denizen of the house: “He seemed like a pretty normal guy.” Another brother was blunter: “We were just glad to have Tom Hanks’ son cleaning up our crap.” Another inductee in a proud tradition of fratstars, for sure.
