Proposal: Coyotes would be awesome 05/02/05

Fellow citizens, I am a pizza delivery boy at a major local pizza chain and a few nights ago a homeless drunk tried to mug me. Furthermore, two of my roommates have been mugged and my car has been broken into three times in the last two months.

I would like to introduce coyotes into the local environment. When given the opportunity to be homeless here in Evanston (with coyotes) or somewhere else, I believe most homeless will gather up two dollars in change to take the El far away from here.

Also, I would like (to) point out that bunnies and squirrels here are entirely too domesticated and it bothers me that they do not flee from my presence.

Coyotes would solve this by introducing a natural predator into the environment. There is something sad about having to go out in groups at night because we are scared of being mugged. But going out in groups because we are scared of a coyote attack is just plain rad.

As a pizza delivery boy, I realize I would be most vulnerable to this new coyote threat, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. Are you?- Brian ChildsEvanston resident

Attendance rules not needed 11/10/87

Remember back in high school, you know, decades ago, when attendance was mandatory? Remember the common phrase, “If you have more than five unexcused absences, you will fail the class!”? Well, believe it or not, here at Northwestern, I feel like I’m back in high school.

The attendance policy in many classes is absurd. “If you miss more than three classes you won’t pass the class,” is something many students hear from their professors. I came to NU to escape the monotony of high school policies. NU is a private school, where students pay big bucks for an education. Students are here because they want to be, not because it is forced on them. We’re here because we are old enough to make decisions for ourselves. If they don’t go to class, they are not only wasting their education, but also their money. And besides, the more you go to class, the better chance you have of doing well.

Attendance should not be a factor in a student’s grade. If he or she misses every class, but does the work and gets an A on the midterm and final, then the student knows the material and should receive an A in the class. The only question I have about this policy at NU is WHY?- Robert MestmanSpeech ’91

Don’t knock the Rock 10/04/74

This letter is addressed primarily to those members of fraternities and sororities who anticipate painting “the Rock” sometime this year.

I would like to express my hope that those people that paint the rock will henceforth confine their displays of house loyalty to the Rock and refrain from slapping their colors and signs on the rest of the surrounding area.

House loyalty is great, but when people paint the sidewalk too, they seem to keep branching out in search of still more unmarked concrete.

Painting the Rock is a fun tradition but last year’s enthusiastic excesses have left the area an eyesore.- Steve MoffetMedill ’76