THE LUCKIEST LADIESRemember when Anna Nicole Smith married that old dude? And then she got the billions, had someone else’s kid, and overdosed on a Walgreen’s worth of pills on a beach somewhere? Yeah, it happened again last Friday! Theta engaged Phi Psi for Gone Greek Night purposes, and they planned the reception at The Lucky Lady. Phi Psi even hired a bouncer to ward off any wandering suitors afflicted with social probation. But buses for the event, supposedly ordered, never arrived. And then the “backup plan” – as the social chairs called it – led the sisterhood to Hamilton’s, dangerously close to SigEp’s pity party at the Pumping Company. Like Anna to Oxys, the Thetas streamed down the block en masse. So SigEp got a Gone Greek night after all, Theta escaped with its lover, and Phi Psi got a letter of apology – really, the stationery has kites – before slouching back to its grave. Fans, what better way to own a piece of little Dannielynn Birkhead than to purchase a rose from those SigEp-Theta booths in Lisa’s and Tech?RECESSIONARY EFFECTSAccording to one tip that was sent directly to us from a former staffer – and we can’t attest to the degree of her sobriety at the time – Bar Louie is offering everything on their menu for half-price on Mondays as long as this recession holds out. A cheap drink is – and will always be – better than paying a dollar for a burger. Other signs that the recession has hit Evanston? Barnes & Noble is closing its doors earlier on weekend nights and Kafein, the popular freshman hangout spot that is known for its less-than-friendly waitstaff and sticky tables, is following suit.GHOST RIDINGFight the power, Neal Sales-Griffin. The ASG president wants student spies to evaluate NU shuttles. Be advised, drivers: the ASG president’s plan offers $10 to student riders for every report that they file based on your conduct. (They’re calling them “participating quality assurance riders,” according to an e-mail sent out by Marge Grzeszczuk of transportation services.) Be warned. Here are some things that they’ll be looking for: Do you smoke? Make unadvised stops (“please explain”)? Behave courteously? Is your bus clean? Ask for WildCARD ID? Play your radio too loudly? Ghost ride your whip? Yeah, that last – save that ‘til Neal climbs aboard. SPUTTER ON THE DANCEFLOORDid you hit up BarCelona on Thursday? No? A pity. SigEp, iced out of Gone Greek night, entrusted a fraternity elder and two ambitious pledges with planning an event to rival the Theta pairing that wasn’t. Ignoring the Deuce and the economy, they wanted $5 for buses to Wrigleyville and $20 for the two-hour open bar. We could only find one guy who could attest to attendance. “Not as many people showed up as we expected, but it was alright, man,” one organizer said the next morning at Tridelt. Some advice, man: if you can’t compete with free open bars downtown on Saturdays, just throw a pregame at the house. Oh, wait.