FINKEL’S FRIENDS

Last night in Norris’ Dittmar Gallery, more than 50 students gathered to hear psychology professor Eli Finkel and his colleague Paul Eastwick talk about sex. Hold your Salt-N-Pepa jokes; the two recently published their speed-dating research in the scientific journal Nature, and gathered for Hillel’s Ask Big Questions series to discuss whether girls and boys (or two gay boys or girls, Finkel clarified) can truly be friends. Turns out friendships where one side has romantic feelings are “perpetually disappointing.”

“Every time your friend starts dating, you have to keep it under control,” Eastwick said before explaining how self-control is a “limited resource” and one friend usually ends up unhappy. So, as one girl asked, “What are people to do?” The two psychologists recommended asking your other friends whether you would be happier if you cut your crush out of your life. But they cautioned that friends can be bitches – they used the word “biased” – so take any advice with a grain of salt.

Because the event was sponsored by Hillel, Rabbi Joshua chimed in occasionally with thoughts about whether opening up relationships or habitually hooking up were things that you wanted to be part of your “story.” Finkel asserted that successful science must ignore moral judgments, before pointing out happy people tend to respect others’ dignity. “And I’m not someone who has prudish or wait-until-marriage views,” he joked. “By a longshot.”

Other pessimistic-for-Valentine’s-Day topics covered at the lovefest included the idea that humans think they have preferences in mates, but really have no idea what they’re looking for. Because of this, random profile-hunting on Match.com tends not to work whereas eHarmony.com’s obnoxious surveys and secret algorithms do (both psychologists said they couldn’t wait until the day the popular dating site released its formula). And all that stuff about men and women being fundamentally different when it comes to commitment or sex? “That’s all overblown,” Finkel said, giving hope to sex-crazed girls and commitophobic guys just in time for Valentine’s Day.

WE’RE ON FIRE?

Much of Northwestern’s athletic ego rests on women’s lacrosse, so it’s not surprising they’re getting a new field. But might it be flammable?

Sort of. Dillo Day has been moved this year for fear of matches and discarded cigarettes. Worry not, though, one spark wouldn’t have turned the party into an al fresco version of Carrie. Apparently the field’s rubber-based material, referred to as FieldTurf, melts easily. According to Center for Student Involvement Director Helen Wood, who attended the meeting where the problem was discussed, the Athletic Department had surveyed similar damage that occurred at DePaul’s field and didn’t want to risk marring their investment. “There aren’t going to be any screaming lacrosse players on fire,” Wood says. That’s a good thing – we could more trophies.

CO-ED NAKED NORTHWESTERN

Last fall, Playboy came to campus to recruit for their annual “Girls of the Big Ten” issue. As The Daily reported, more than 25 girls auditioned in a local hotel room and were paid up to $1,000 dollars depending on how naked they got. We heard one freshman might be in the issue, but she can’t tell us … yet. “If I am in Playboy, I would love to help you out,” she says. “They did the photo shoot but they haven’t told us who is being used in the magazine.” She explains that they had a preliminary audition, photographed some who might be good for the tasteful pictorial, but “ultimately, Hugh Hefner is the editor in chief.” And since Hef is so busy, the coeds-turned-models might have to wait to pick up their copies on newsstands to find out if the world will see their cleavage. It might be May before you’ll see if your sorority sister made the cut, but as our source reminds us, they’ll probably all be from the University of Wisconsin.

GONE HOME GREEK NIGHT

Lodge and Theta gathered together last Friday at Krem for the annual Gone Greek Night, but the reveling was cut short according to one Theta sophomore who was kicked out of the boite around 10 p.m. Those who were underage were scheduled to leave around then anyway, according to the club’s rules. But the lights came on for about two minutes and the bouncer got pissed when a male freshman punched a hole in a wall. One attendee insists those of age were allowed to stick around, but who wants to party in a broken-down club?