In the spirit of dressing in costume for Halloween, I figured now would be the perfect opportunity to talk about role playing in the bedroom. For most couples, your typical guy-on-top missionary-style sex is enough to satisfy both partners but sometimes a little extra spice can be exhilarating. As I mentioned in previous columns, men are extremely visual creatures; therefore it’s easy to see why the sight of a sexy nurse or a French maid can turn men on – maybe that’s why Halloween is some guys’ favorite holiday. No matter what the fantasy, leaving behind the ordinary sex for some adventurous role playing can be fun but can also have the potential of becoming an awkward situation.
Guys, if you secretly dream of your innocent and pure girlfriend donning black leather lingerie with stilettos, it may be no easy feat simply bringing up the topic without getting called a creep and sending your girl bolting for the exit. I suggest asking in a manner that prepares you for any and all reactions – propose the idea in a light-hearted, almost joking manner so that she doesn’t feel threatened or pressured and will then be able to give you a more honest response to how she truly feels. For example, say you fantasize about a naughty nurse taking your temperature. You can bring up the idea of her dressing as such by telling her how good she would look in a nurse’s uniform, and by adding some sort of clever remark (i.e.: “Looking at you in that outfit would really give me a fever!”). By adding this little fragment of humor, you remove the “creep” factor and make the situation slightly less intense. Her response to your humorous and witty suggestion should allow you to gauge her interest in the idea. If she says something along the lines of, “Yea, that’d be fun” with an added wink or smile, you’re in. Conversely, if she says something like, “That would be weird,” or gets unusually quiet, add an “I was just kidding,” and lay off the subject for a little while.
Around this time of year, girls are getting excited to dress up as someone or something else, ranging anywhere from a witch to a Playboy bunny. It seems like nowadays, the costumes that girls wear out for Halloween could double as bedroom lingerie. To steal a quote from Mean Girls, “Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress as slutty as she wants and no other girl can say anything about her.” So I guess around October 31st would be the best time to ask your partner if she would be willing to transform your fantasies into realities, since she may already have the proper attire needed for this transformation. Make sure that you ask your partner about the idea of role-playing without intimidating her and without making her feel like her alone is not enough to turn you on. Say that it could be something different and fun and use Halloween as your excuse as to why now would be the perfect time. If you want your girl to play dress-up, make sure she feels comfortable enough to really make the night enjoyable. Have fun and be safe!
SESP sophomore Ellen DeBatty is a PLAY sex columnist. She can be reached at [email protected].
