It’s no new story: a sexual encounter captured on videotape and leaked out onto the Internet for anyone to see. So should you videotape you and your partner having sex? Why is it such a fantasy for men to feel the penetrating lens of a camcorder filming the most intimate details of your personal lives? We all know that men are extremely visual creatures and are aroused by images of the opposite sex – like why men love having the lights on during sex, for example.

However, should you put your reputation and dignity on the line by allowing a third party (the camera) to enter your bedroom and forever capture your every love-making move? I think it’s important to explore your partner’s sexual fantasies, but not by completely disregarding your own feelings. If you for even one minute question what you are doing, then it’s not right for you. Above all, you need to feel comfortable with your decision in order to maintain a trusting and healthy relationship. My recommendations to you future filmmakers are as follows:

First, make sure you are comfortable with your sexual partner and have established a sense of trust. Secondly, lay out some ground rules. You need to be in control of the situation in order for it to maximize, rather than kill, your adventurous endeavor. This means everything from lighting, to the angle of the camera, to the actions or positions you actually want caught on tape. Thirdly, before you begin your movie-making venture, choose which partner will keep the evidence, if and where it will be stored, and the terms under which the tape should be destroyed (i.e.: after a breakup). For some, the best option would be to indulge your partner in the fantasy of taping sexual intercourse, watching it together, and then destroying it right away so the possibility of it getting out is non-existent.

It may seem like the only scenarios in which private sex tapes are made public are those involving a higher and more glamorous species of human: celebrities. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Too many young women and men have had their private lives exposed unwillingly by their former partners for a number of reasons other than publicity stunts. It’s a real issue with real victims losing their sense of confidence, dignity, and sometimes their trust in the opposite sex. I am by no means encouraging all you lovebirds to grab the video camera the next time you have sex, but I am suggesting that you at least talk to your partner about it instead of freaking out any time he or she mentions the idea.

Even if you think the camera adds ten pounds or you’re not sure if you can unleash your inner porn star without a few cocktails, filming you and your partner having sex can bring you closer together, as long as you are both comfortable and have set guidelines for the entire process. Whatever your decision is, always trust the person you are sleeping with before that little red light goes on. ?

SESP sophomore Ellen DeBatty is a PLAY sex columnist. She can be reached at [email protected].