Don’t Spoil Our Dillo Day

Christopher Danzig

By Christopher DanzigThe Daily Northwestern

Dillo Day is almost here, and I have an important Public Service Announcement on behalf of your friends: Don’t make us take care of you. I know you want to take full advantage of this special weekend and drink the day to its fullest. I also know all you freshmen have waited months to experience campuswide drunken insanity and the joy of attending a state school for one day.

That’s all fine and dandy. But I don’t want to discover you asleep on the toilet in Allison Hall. I don’t want to spend all afternoon and evening reminding you to drink water – but not so much that you’ll throw up for the third time today (before it’s even dark).

I don’t want to be responsible for the 12 friends you invited from home and deserted somewhere in the Frat Quads while you went to a kegger somewhere on Ridge Ave.

Don’t carry a CamelBack or Nalgene full of Skol. The cops will see it and give you a ticket. Don’t just carry your fake ID around. When the cops give you your ticket, they will also take you to jail. I won’t bail you out, because I won’t hear my phone ring over Cake’s music.

Watching over your drunk ass is not my job. I want to have fun, too. By all means, take it easy and have as many beers as you want. But I’m warning you now, don’t expect me to drop my Hoegarden and fly to your rescue if you become too drunk to walk home.

Please, give your friends the opportunity to have as much fun as you will. Dillo Day truly is a unique and awesomely hedonistic NU experience. Don’t ruin it for the rest of us.