Abby Wolbe

Monday columnist

I’m a Southerner without an accent. I say “y’all,” call it Cokeand can’t say “asked” without it sounding like “assed.” I find redeyewear and writing a specific number of words very satisfying.

I’m a creative writing major with a minor in businessinstitutions. I pretend to be a theater major by spending my freetime working on student productions.

At Northwestern I feel like I’ve taken in this campus enough towrite about what I know in a way that makes sense and is evenrelevant.

This column will never be an empty, ill-conceived rant, atoo-much-information disaster (hi Mom) or a pity-party formyself.

I won’t tackle any subject unless it plays a role in the life ofan average NU student (who isn’t me).

I also use mid-sentence parentheticals (but not usually thismuch).

Daniel Magliocco

Tuesday columnist

Seriously overweight as a toddler, I was labeled “an argumentfor skim breast milk.” Exacerbating problems, my parents decided todress me in nothing but velour sweatsuits. I looked like a verybrightly colored meatball. A very soft, undeniably deliciousmeatball.

As a sixth-grader I was forced to come to school early forremedial handwriting lessons. I am the only person I know who wasforced to write on three-lined handwriting paper after the secondgrade.

But things have a way of working out. I’m no longer askim-breast-milk argument, and thanks to technology, mychicken-scratch handwriting is no longer a hindrance. Velour haseven become trendy.

Maybe I had it right from the beginning.

David Weigel

Wednesday columnist

No, I’m not going to be the token conservative columnist.

Sure I’ve spent most of my campus life working at theNorthwestern Chronicle. Working for that particular sweatshoptaught me political rants are the worst way to spend 550 words.

But being a Republican puts me in a small, misunderstoodminority at NU. Defending your views a couple dozen times a weekdoes wonders for your ability to think straight.

Through four years of this toil, I’ve realized students have somuch in common — geekiness, GPA-obsession, iPods — that ourimpetus to divide and compete is strange and tragic.

But it makes for good stories.I’ll use this space to get thosestories told. And maybe I’ll be a little Republican. It’ll be goodfor you.

Valli Muthappan

Thursday columnist

When my friends tease me, they say they are going to make meT-shirts that say, “I’d rather be in lab,” or, “I like toexperiment.” I really would rather not be in lab. But I do like toexperiment. Wink, wink.

Sexual connotations aside, it’s pretty true. I am a graduatingchemistry major so I’ve spent most of my time at Northwesterninside the Technological Institute.

But I like to talk and think, and I do not own an iPod. I haveplenty of ideas in my head and hear even more when I walk aroundcampus.

During my last quarter in Evanston, I’d like to experiment alittle more. Writing this column is one way to do so. Here’s myhypothesis: I will write about what concerns me and makes me laugh.And you will like it.

Or not.

Science is built on failures.

Matt Lopas

Friday columnist

I come from a family of arguers. A family dinner is nevercomplete without a heated debate. I learned how to complain at ayoung age.

I’m not particularly cute or clever — what you’re going to getfrom me is not an “aw shucks” column on hair coloring or why its OKto make fun of Michael J. Fox (two of everyone’s favorite pastDaily columns).

What you will get is an honest evaluation of life at and aroundNorthwestern. I’m an equal-opportunity offender, so if I piss a fewof you off, then I’ve done my job.

I have put in my time at The Daily, and close readers might evenrecognize my name. But consider this — I know the people I will bewriting about better than most of you. Wait until you hear what Ihave to say about them.

Troy Appel

Friday political columnist

So who am I?

I enjoy sports, politics, news and popular culture. I willprovide readers with an intelligent, fresh and unique style. I willtake risks and give opinions backed up by facts.

I am a mix of the guy at the bar table loaded with opinions andthe annoying guy who corrects everyone with facts.

And I’m a conservative, too!

But don’t be afraid — I will be the rare political columnistwho will look at both sides and call them out or applaud them asneeded.

I grow tired of hearing liberals call conservatives “fascists”and conservatives call liberals “tree-huggers.” My column will putan end to this pointless name calling.

I’ll also be fun to read. If you want a column chock full ofintensity and entertainment, read Troy Appel.