What do a hamburger, the Lockness monster, a snail and a windsurfer all have in common? Answer: They can all be made using a penis and a pair of testicles.

These creations and many more are part of the show “Puppetry of the Penis,” featuring two middle-aged men from Australia. The show opened Tuesday at the Lakeshore Theatre in Chicago.

The hour-long show features two nude men, Simon Morley and Daniel Lewry, who twist, pull and push their penises and testicles to form various shapes, with a zoomed in camera magnifying their “tools” to immense proportions. They also work with a stand-up comedian.

“You just need a complete lack of shame. Make sure you warm up before performing the installations. You don’t want to pull a muscle,’ said Morley, an original cast members.

At a press conference held Jan. 21 at the Drake Hotel in Chicago, Morley and Lewry, who joined the cast two years ago, answered questions and performed audience suggestions, including the Eiffel Tower.

The show has seven different companies, touring worldwide including England, Iceland, Boston and Los Angeles. In addition, there is now one non-circumcised cast member.

“It’ll make the Eiffel Tower that much more spectacular,” said Morley.

Despite popular misconception, “Puppetry of the Penis” began as a calender in 1997 before “The Vagina Monologues.” Many unsold copies later, the show was started in 1998 in order to sell the calendars.

The real question, however, is why they started performing with their penises.

“I had way too much spare time on my hands,” said Morley, a former comedy promoter in Australia. “At every party I went to, people would load me with alcohol so I’d take my pants off, so I figured I could put on a cape and charge people to see this.”

Lewry auditioned for the show two years ago. “I had never seen the show before I got the job,” he said.

The show was originally designed to appeal to men, yet everyone seems to enjoy it.

“It’s controversial enough for college students. When I went to college, we liked stuff that challenged society, and this certainly does,” said Morley. “Talk about liberating the male genitalia, kind of like burning the bra in the ’60s.”

This in-your-face approach has brought its share of naysayers. Despite any negative criticism, they plan to keep doing this show.

“People can think what they think, and I’ll go on stage and play with my penis for a living. I’m probably getting more doing this than they are,” Lewry said.

There has even been talk of a “Puppetry of the Penis” movie. Morley said that the Farrelly brothers, the team behind such movies as “Dumb and Dumber,” saw the show and loved it. Afterwards, they all went out for drinks.

“It’s a bit of a Cinderella story. I’m now traveling the world playing with myself for a living.” nyou