In this episode of NU Declassified, Ashley Wong dives deep into the world of long-distance relationships among Northwestern University students. Join the discussion as we explore how Wildcats, especially freshmen, navigate love from afar while embarking on their college journey. Discover the challenges, triumphs, and insights in this episode.
ASHLEY WONG: “I’m only one call away, I’ll be there to save the day,” sings Charlie Puth in his hit song about distanced lovers, “One Call Away.” But is that really true for Wildcats who choose to experience college with long-distance love?
From The Daily Northwestern, I’m Ashley Wong. This is NU Declassified, a look into how Wildcats thrive and survive at Northwestern. In this episode, we’ll be taking a closer look into how three Northwestern freshmen navigate long-distance dating in college as they enter a new phase of their lives –– with or without their high school sweethearts.
FRANKE GORDON: The secret for us is just being able to be vulnerable and honest.
ASHLEY WONG: That was Weinberg freshman Franke Gordon. He’s currently in a long-distance relationship with his partner of almost two and a half years — one that was already quite unorthodox, even back home.
FRANKE GORDON: We’re both very busy people. Even when we were dating close distance, we wouldn’t hang out or go on a date for up to a month or so. So while it is different now, it’s not terribly different, in some ways.
ASHLEY WONG: Gordon discusses how he makes his relationship work, by being open and vulnerable about the pains of a love far away. His partner attends the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, a 150-mile journey that takes five hours from Evanston.
FRANKE GORDON: In a lot of relationships, people struggle with being the one to be vulnerable. You know, being able to say I miss you, I wish I could see you right now, or being able to say like, hey, we should call more, I miss hearing your voice.
It’s just finding that time and specifically scheduling it for us. We text everyday, just here and there whenever we’re free. We also try to find one to two times a week where we can call for an hour. But we tend to be very busy people, so sometimes it’s hard to even find that.
ASHLEY WONG: But what about the other side of the coin, where distance and difference becomes too much to handle? Communication freshman Angelina Randazzo shares her story.
ANGELINA RANDAZZO: I broke up with my boyfriend about three weeks into school.
I was getting really overwhelmed with social life, with the change in homework and the change in my daily schedule, that I did not find any time for him, let alone myself.
ASHLEY WONG: For some people, like Randazzo, long-distance just couldn’t work — especially when navigating college with mismatched schedules.
ANGELINA RANDAZZO: I’d get back from classes, and then it’d be like, oh, I have to FaceTime my boyfriend because I want to talk about my day and I need to give him that support. But then, I’d also have to do my homework, shower, eat, so it was just really hard balancing that, and I think that was the reason I decided to break it off, so that it wouldn’t end up hurting the both of us in the long run.
I really enjoyed the time that we had and it wasn’t a breakup based on any argument. It was just respecting of each other’s time and just the fact that we needed to have time for ourselves and grow as people.
ASHLEY WONG: After jumping around all these hurdles, what keeps distanced couples together? Most folks say a great deal of compromise, understanding and perhaps, above all, the flame that keeps on burning.
Bienen freshman Sonya Lyons is currently dating her boyfriend who attends college in Baltimore. Prior to arriving at Northwestern, the couple ended the relationship — before getting back together again.
SONYA LYONS: I do prefer a normal, not distanced relationship. This is why we decided to not date for college. That didn’t work out because my thinking was like, it’s not preferable, but I would rather be with him long distance than anybody else in person — so we might as well try.
ASHLEY WONG: Gordon shared the same sentiment.
FRANKE GORDON: I would much rather date her than someone else. I don’t prefer long distance, but I prefer it over any other alternative.
ASHLEY WONG: But when it comes to college, often seen as a beacon of freedom, possibility and finding interesting people in a brand new stage of life, perhaps that excitement just is enough to let go.
ANGELINA RANDAZZO: I believe that if you really do want to lock in with someone and you really do love them, then you should stay together.
But, personally, for me, that just wasn’t the go. I think that becoming single was a way to sort of have more time for myself rather than look around for other people. I wanted to experience my first month of college with having time for me.
ASHLEY WONG: After having time to reflect and focus on herself, Randazzo says she isn’t closed off to the idea of another relationship, right off the bat from her previous one.
ANGELINA RANDAZZO: Since the relationship didn’t end horribly — like it wasn’t a fight or anything, and I’m still on good terms with him — it’s not like it was something to recover from immensely.
I took time for myself, and I do think that I am ready for another relationship.
ASHLEY WONG: From The Daily Northwestern, I’m Ashley Wong. Thanks for listening to another episode of NU Declassified. This episode was reported and produced by me. The audio editors of The Daily Northwestern are Virginia Hunt and Lily Shen, the digital managing editors are Scott Hwang and Laura Simmons, and the editor-in-chief is Avani Kalra. Make sure to subscribe to The Daily Northwestern’s podcasts on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or SoundCloud to hear more episodes like this.
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