The Daily Northwestern

Between the Sheets: Post-DM sex positions (and other helpful hints)

Tonya Starr, Columnist

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It’s Dance Marathon eve, and students all over campus are preparing for the wild 30 hours of physical torture/raging party that is DM. As a 90-hour dancer, I can tell you the key to surviving this incredible feat is drawing on support from your friends — not only the ones on the dance floor, but also the ones on the sidelines.

So if you’re not dancing, but you have a significant other who is, here are some things you can do to keep them in their best physical condition before, during and after the big event. Dancers need lots of TLC to get them through the weekend, and your job as a non-dancer is to make sure they get it. Here’s how:

Before:

No sex before DM. Even if they ask for it. A sleep-deprived dancer is a doomed dancer, so make sure your partner is getting as much sleep as he or she possibly can in the days leading up to the marathon.

Work out or do some stretching exercises together. It will help your partner prepare, and also turn you both on (the smell of male sweat is scientifically proven to attract women because we’re really into pheromones)

Cook your partner a romantic, energy-boosting meal the night before DM. He or she should be getting lots of iron, calcium and vitamin C to prevent morning-of sickness and fatigue.

During:

Visit as much as you can! Seeing a familiar face can be really comforting for a struggling dancer. Most people say Saturday mid-day is the worst part, so try to plan your visit for that time. And don’t forget to bring some energy-boosting goodies (but nothing with caffeine or too much sugar).

Send inspirational texts, emails and videos. Most dancers check their phones in between blocks of dancing, so send some digital love to keep them going.

After:

Do not go near your partner for the first 12 hours after DM. They will be in an unshakable post-dance hibernation, and if you wake them up they will bite your face off. When they do start being functional again, offer them food. A recovering dancer should never have to get out of bed for food. Or anything for that matter. Except maybe to pee.

Offer foot and back massages. Buy some sex massage oil or skin-safe wax to give their tired body a rub-down.

Later in the night, when your sex-deprived partner is recovered and ready, have some very gentle missionary or 77 in which you do most of the work and your partner stays on their back or their side. Avoid doggy style, anal, against-the-wall or other high-impact positions. Think slow and soft. When in doubt, just go with oral (you’re giving, of course).

Go dancers! (And partners!)

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