I remember reading College Prowler before coming to Northwestern and can still recall one gentleman’s assessment of the female population here: “Between October and May, I tend to forget attractive girls exist, but as soon as the weather turns nice, they emerge.”
Our nearsighted friend obviously didn’t know what he was missing, but I can’t help but agree with part of his point: In the winter months at least, it’s often difficult to appreciate anything other than how much revenue North Face must be accumulating from our peers’ brand loyalty.
Complaining about NU’s dating scene is just about as common as groaning about the weather, but it’s probably easier to improve your attitude toward the latter. You’d think rain, wind and snow would be aesthetically disastrous, with pallor, wind chap and watering eyes, but I like to refer instead to the glow only being outside in breathlessly cold climates can lend you — that breakfast-cereal air of health Truman Capote’s narrator admired in everyone’s favorite real phony, Holly Golightly. It might be a bit delusional, but any chill is more bearable when you imagine you’re living a Ralph Lauren advertisement: all rosy cheeks, red and black buffalo check, snuggly jumpers and running hand-in-hand through apple orchards.
No matter how appealing an editorial might make wearing an evening gown in a blizzard look, even I’ll say it’s simply foolish to completely neglect safety for style. So how do you stay bundled up but not bulky? Proportion play is the antidote to looking like the more compact cousin of the Michelin Man. If you’re wearing an XXL sweater under a voluminous 800-fill down puffer, your bottom half better be streamlined. Volume on volume is slightly trickier, but I think you can get away with both a top and skirt that stand away from the body if you cinch your waist, and the skirt is as mini as you dare to go. Remember this fashion axiom: the lumpier the knit, the higher the hemline.
Now, about bare legs in an arctic environment: As someone with an immunity to the cold comparable to that of a certain Vogue Nippon editor, I rarely check the weather when I get dressed in the morning. Why bother when all you have to do to stay warm is cover up your upper body? So long as you’re not so underdressed as to risk hypothermia, the benefits of exposing a sensible amount of skin (it boosts your circulation, it burns calories — watch the SRSLY episode “Subway” for further justification) far outweigh the costs of constructing a blocky or cylindrical shape. Even if the figure you end up cutting is marshmallow-on-toothpicks, that’s still infinitely better than toilet paper tube. And for the adamantly cold temperature-intolerant among us, go ahead and add hosiery: thick tights, knee-highs and Fair Isle stockings.
Some final pieces of advice: Invest in a show coat. They say in Los Angeles people judge you by your car first, but in New York, all you’ve got is you — this concept is no less applicable to largely self-transporting college kids, so make the visible parts of you count. Because you’ll likely wear the same manteau regularly, choose something interesting, maybe with mixed finishes or in a rich, on-trend oxblood hue. Similarly, find a scarf in a flattering shade. Seasonal color analysis may be a laughable fad of the past, but a large swath of fabric sitting next to your face (and around your hair — it’s the new faux bob) should complement your undertones.
Hibernation seems tempting when the mercury drops, but there’s no reason not to practice year-round fabulousness. Gorgeous is gorgeous is gorgeous — no matter what any disgruntled boys may say.
