@DalaiLama: Fear, hatred, and suspicion narrow your mind – compassion opens it. April 30 @zachbraff: Speaking today at Oxford. Or as I like to call it, the Northwestern University of the UK… April 30 @TheEllenShow: Why did the mermaid wear seashells? Because the B-shells were too small. #ClassicJokeMonday April 30

@FO_ASchatz: Patriots select WR Jeremy Ebert out of Northwestern. Some say he’s a Wes Welker type, others say he’s a Gene Siskel type. April 28 @SupermanTweets: It really sucks that Google Earth still didn’t pay me for all those pictures I took for them… April 30 @DepressedDarth: Jessica Simpson had her baby. Apparently, Kanye busted into the delivery room and said Beyonce had the best baby of all time. May 1 -Compiled by Rachel Janik

Your 2 Cents

There’s a new iPhone app called The Ugly Meter. You put in a picture, and it tells you the attractiveness level. How do you feel about this app? “I don’t think it’s a good idea because it’s mean! And it’s actually kind of sad.” Rida Malick, Weinberg sophomore “I think you can judge who you think is ugly on your own.” Tammy Nunez, Weinberg sophomore There is a new bra on the market that doubles as a holder for money, phones and keys. How do you feel about this? “I think it’s discriminatory toward flat-chested women.” Gwen Straeffer, Weinberg sophomore “The future is now.” Brian Bauman, McCormick junior -Compiled by Victoria Hilbert