It’s way too early to talk about bowl placement. Northwestern earned bowl eligibility by getting its sixth win against Indiana, but that doesn’t limit where they could end up. In a hypothetical world, they could end up in the Rose Bowl, or they could end up not in a bowl. In that same hypothetical world, I could end up winning a combined lottery/Bar Rafaeli marriage competition, and I could also get beaten up by Kimbo Slice, thrown into a tipped-over port-o-potty, lowered into a lava pit filled with lava-resistant sharks with laser beams attached to their foreheads, and shot. You win some, you lose some.
If NU wins out, they could end up facing a strong SEC or Big 12 team, like they did last year in the Outback Bowl. If they lose out, they will end up facing a C-USA or MAC team. Obviously, any NU fan would be happier to see NU do the former than the latter.
But some point out that the silverback, Vince Browne-sized gorilla on NU’s back is the lack of a bowl win since 1949. These people say this is the most important thing NU has to rid itself of. We can show recruits and annoying opposing fans that we’re successful – winning percentage well over .500 since Pat Fitzgerald came back as a coach, three Big Ten championships since he came as a player – but where’s that bowl win?
These people argue that in the grand scheme of things, the paramount thing NU needs is a bowl victory – and that a win in a bowl game over Western Kentucky, or Kalamazoo Community, is the feather in NU’s otherwise undecorated hat.
The bowl system is great. It’s not a playoff, but it gives more than half of the FBS’ 120 teams a chance to live again for a 13th game. A postseason. It gives players something to play for all season long. But at the same time, it leads to at least a dozen bowls that nobody cares about. There is a thing called the Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl in St. Petersburg, Fla.
Anybody who says that a spine-tingling NU loss to Auburn in a heartbreaking, fascinating, crippling Outback Bowl thriller is less helpful to NU’s program than a meaningless bowl in Detroit against a school from the MAC like Toledo is silly.
The only way a win like that would help NU would be if it made SportsCenter, so Scott Van Pelt could point out that NU hasn’t won a bowl game since the Truman era! and carry on. And then we’d brag about it, and Iowa fans would make fun of us for being so proud of winning the Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl over Toledo.
In front of NU are two options: the Bar Rafaeli marriage lottery scenario, and the shark doody lava pit with Kimbo Slice. If we don’t shoot for one, we’re destined to accept the other as if it’s just something that happens to NU. At least if we win out and end up losing another bowl game against a great team, we can call that the equivalent of, say, getting engaged to Bar Rafaeli but things not working out. People will be like, “Damn, Northwestern was engaged to Bar Rafaeli? She’s hot. Northwestern must be good.” Together, we can avoid the lava pit with the port-o-potty.
Really, it’s a lot like the video game NBA Street Vol. 2.
Oh, wait, it’s nothing like that.
Deputy sports editor Rodger Sherman is a Medill junior. He can be reached at [email protected]
