What do British Petroleum, Gov. Mark Sanford and the Pope have in common? This sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, and in a way it is. All three are sorry: sorry for themselves. Each has been the victim of a different PR nightmare. Make no mistake, they were the victims. Consider BP. In the aftermath of last month’s oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, BP CEO Tony Hayward reportedly asked his fellow executives, “What the hell did we do to deserve this?” Oh, I don’t know, Tony, maybe fight the implementation of health and safety measures and brazenly flout existing ones? But don’t worry. What is turning out to be the worst environmental disaster in American history “wasn’t your accident,” as you stated on May 3. You’re the victim here.
So was Mark Sanford. When he went public about his affair with his Argentinean mistress and several other women, he apologized for “letting his family down,” but made sure to add that his affairs weren’t “the whole story” and that “the profound frustrations” of his “exhausting” job played a role in his infidelity. Because having multiple affairs and lying to your family, staffers and the public are appropriate reactions to stress.
As for the Pope, his recent letter to the Irish Church apologizing for ongoing clerical sex abuse failed to acknowledge the Church’s undeniable role in covering up the abuse as it occurred. But of course, this case is different because the Pope can do no wrong. Thank God for papal infallibility. Maybe BP and Sanford should look into procuring corporate infallibility and gubernatorial infallibility, respectively. And more than a few celebrities could use some celebritory infallibility, although celebrities have a trick all their own: just go to rehab. When caught cheating, for example, make like Tiger Woods and go to rehab for sex addiction. He had an addiction, it wasn’t his fault!
It’s up for debate whether Woods’ “addiction” is actually to lying and manipulation, but the message is clear: blame an addiction, another company, the government, your parents, the Twinkies you ate, anyone but yourself. Don’t be sorry. Be sorry that others feel the way they do. Rather than take responsibility for our actions, we evade, excuse, finger-point, do damage control, rehab our images. We “play the blame game,” just as we were encouraged not to do when we were children, when we first wailed “He started it!”
Those who try so hard to dodge blame end up looking like children. We vastly underestimate the respect and forgiveness others are willing to give us when we offer a sincere apology. It’s true that “sorry doesn’t fix it.” But it demonstrates respect for those to whom you apologize. There’s a lot to be said for the value of looking into another person’s eyes and saying sorry-no qualifiers, no caveats. And if you don’t agree, I’m sorry you feel that way.
Weinberg sophomore Hayley MacMillen can be reached at [email protected].
