(Note: These columns are best read while listening to some kind of remix of the song “Reflections” by Atmosphere.)

I know, I know. I have more than one column today. But that doesn’t matter, because they’re all important. What you see here is what you saw in the other, but reading one would only give you half of the picture. Reading them all is like watching “The Usual Suspects” twice in a row to see what you missed the first time. It’s like re-opening a friend’s door after walking in on him in bed with his 60-year-old stats professor: Once you’ve seen it, you’ve seen it once. You wont get anything but disbelief from friends if you don’t look again and take a cell phone picture. And that’s why you’re reading the other columns.

They’re all distinct. They even have completely different titles. It would take someone with a really thick Chinese accent and far too little respect for The Daily to think the headlines sounded anything alike or assume the same column was printed twice by mistake. And that’s how it should be. Things aren’t always as they appear, and going back to dig deeper might show you something you missed with a first impression. My first impression of these columns is they’re all the same. So we should probably read to make sure.

The point is, it’s impossible to read too much into anything when there’s so much meaning everywhere. Some people don’t see any deep meaning in a book like “Catcher in the Rye” when upon close inspection, it’s clearly an allegory for the life of Albert Pujols (a guy in a red hat who plays with birds). Even if you see a movie, book or song by anyone but Lil Wayne that seems to have nothing to say, it sometimes does. It’s just trying to make you work for it.

So just skip the surface, and at least judge a book by its SparkNotes themes/analysis section. Don’t waste your time looking if you’re not going to look closely. How many columns were there today again?

Weinberg senior David Moss can be reached at [email protected].