MARY JANE IN THE SNEAKY DORMEveryone drinks in dorms, right? It’s a time-honored tradition, like doing the Primal Scream before finals and having sex in the Bobb showers. Still, some fun-less CAs are apparently trying to do their job, as we got this e-mail forwarded to us from a disgruntled South Mid-Quads student. “(CA) and I can smell pot and alcohol in SMQ hallways pretty frequently this quarter,” the e-mail starts off, “And the number of alcohol violation in SMQ has increased drastically for the past couple of weeks.” It then adds a perfectly passive-aggressive “Just a friendly reminder, Northwestern University has absolutely no tolerance in underage drinking and consumption of illegal drugs.” There’s also the world’s most obvious statement: “We notice that people are coming back to SMQ intoxicated over the weekends.” Freakin’ duh, Lois! It’s college! Asking pent-up freshmen not to get their drink on is like asking Taylor Swift to stop being adorable. The SMQ denizen said that she had “never heard of any pot smoking,” adding that all that happens are pregames with a bunch of people… but no one really adheres to those rules about how many people can be in a dorm room at one time, right? Maybe there’s pot smoking going on and maybe there isn’t-maybe Tracy Morgan was funny and maybe he wasn’t. (He was.) Who really knows? Kids, go outside to get high; CAs, find a way to talk to your residents without talking down.
LEAVE IN SNITCHES, NOT STITCHESFor the last few years, STITCH has ruled the fashion beat at NU, from its twice-annual magazines to its stomping parties that bring out all factions of north and south campus life. (A cop at one event last year said it was the most people he had ever seen at one party.) That’s why it was weird to wake up the other day to a Facebook fan page invite from SNITCHES, a new fashion blog started by NU students with a very similar name as the fashion publication we already read. There’s nothing but a few Photoshopped photos and a promise of a “SNITCH collegiate rebel line in SPRING,” so we wondered if someone was trying to take a shot at the king. Of course, it could just be a coincidence: as founder and the weekly writer Harley Langberg said in an e-mail, “It’s NOT a Northwestern group. We are an interest group, very open. A huge part of our fan base is in other cities.” Still, the description reads, “Trust us you won’t get stitches”-a subtle jab? An unfortunate choice of words? A wink-wink, ha-ha? Regardless of what the intention really is, NU students may read into it as a diss-we’ll just sit back and watch the competition, if there is one. I mean, what else are we supposed to think when both names are in all caps and share five letters? Maybe the only controversy is in our heads, but still. Play nice, guys.