We’ve been back at school for more than a month now, and at Northwestern that means you’ve probably gone through five rounds of midterms already. Midterms are stressful. They’re stressful because of the disgusting amount of time we spend preparing for them, and because they remind us the quarter, and consequently college as a whole, is that much closer to being over. Instead of busting out my Vitamin C albums every time I go to a test, however, I’ve found solace in my second favorite method for turning something tragic into a celebration. And no, I’m not talking about unveiling a monument, dedicating a highway or laughing during “Snakes on a Plane.” Introducing the Northwestern Midterm Drinking Game.Rules:-You show up five minutes late (One drink)-Your professor shows up five minutes late (Two drinks)-Your professor shows up 15 minutes late (Five drinks, two of which are a stupidity penalty for you still being there at all. Haven’t you ever heard of the 10-minute no-show rule?)-You choose to sit in the unlucky row that happens to receive the test last (Finish your beer-but no need to rush. That TA is taking his time.)-Someone sits in the seat directly next to you despite the clear availability of less obtrusive options (Two drinks) -Bonus shot! If that person is either sweaty, a heavy breather or a left-handed person attempting to use a right-handed desk, pour yourself another one.-You ask your professor to clarify the wording of a question, and in response, he or she just gives you the answer (2 drinks: one for you, one for the prof)-Your hand cramps after writing the third sentence of your essay (One shot, and eat a page from your blue book as a chaser)-You answer “none of the above” for three questions in a row-the midterm equivalent of going on fire (One drink) -Bonus shot! If the letters you choose for consecutive multiple-choice responses spell out something ironic like ACED (get real, you’re drinking during the exam), break out the lime and salt. -Double bonus shot! If the multiple-choice options on a given question go past the letter “R,” plug your nose and take one down. Keep in mind this may only be possible in a test on something like “Countries Whose Names End In ‘Istan'” or “Movies I Don’t Care About Starring Ashton Kutcher”.-You spot someone else in the room playing the Northwestern Midterm Drinking Game (Race to finish your drinks-the loser buys post-test shots)-You check your grade next week, and despite playing this game during the exam, you somehow managed to pass (Play again, and this time don’t be such a wuss with your drinks)-You check your grade next week, and despite having no memory of what happened during the exam, you learn you failed due to falling down the steps on the way to hand the test in and signing your name as “Who wants 2 know?” (Play again, and this time don’t be such a wuss with your drinks)Weinberg senior David Moss can be reached at [email protected].