There is just too much wrong with the world, and by the world I mean the Internet.
“Real time” is the new buzzword in the tech industry and it’s everywhere. Facebook, the largest social network in the world with more than 300 million users, drank the Kool-Aid this year with its News Feed, and Google recently released its Wave software, which brings a number of real-time services and applications together all at once. Twitter started the trend when it exploded in popularity earlier this year, and before you knew it, celebrities, athletes, politicians, even companies and TV channels had Twitter accounts.
I dislike Twitter for selfish reasons: People who use Twitter annoy me. No, not because I find it tedious and trivial that they “just ate Chipotle,” or “think the clouds are especially puffy today, ” but because it takes that stupidity and multiplies it exponentially.
Twitter has been hailed for enabling its community to spread news at the speed of type (because the Internet was sooo slow before Twitter came along), like when the US Airways flight crashed into the Hudson and the Iran election went all dictator-y. What Twitter fails to realize, however, is stupid people use the Internet too. My week was practically ruined when I heard Jeff Goldblum died – lies, Twitter, nothing but lies.
More than 40 percent of Twitter posts are pointless babble, according to a recent Pear Analytics study, while conversational tweets took up almost 38 percent, and news came in at a strong 3.6 percent. Sadly, this is what leaders and pioneers of the tech industry are banking on to be the future of communication: burrito alerts and celebrity gossip.
In September, Twitter closed its second round of venture capital funding, pulling in more than $100 million. That is ridiculous; it’s like Lady Gaga winning every single Grammy, or Bill O’Reilly winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Twitter, which has yet to earn even a single penny of revenue, only has about 20 million users, many of whom aren’t active.
egardless, it has been valued at $1 billion and has raised more than quadruple the amount that Google, arguably the single largest Internet power, raised during its own venture funding.
What if these tech moguls are right? Will all of our social interactions be boiled down to 140 characters? Imagine a world where Northwestern students walk up and down Sheridan with heads bowed, fingers frantically tapping out Twitter updates describing their last bowel movement on their iPhones, never looking up to see the person they are tweeting is next to them… the horror, the horror!
With all the money it has raised, Twitter could probably start paying people to use its service and fulfill its plans for world domination. Heeeeey, maybe that’s what’s really going on here…
Hey guys! Check out my Twitter @RollinIN$$ for updates on my sweet new car! Woo Beamer!
Weinberg senior Kenny Levin can be reached at [email protected].
