During the summer months, lounging in the sun and watching sports teams (struggling sports teams in my case) often takes priority over sitting in a dark movie theater.
Somehow, though, I’ve managed to see almost every summer blockbuster this year. What follows is some advice on what flicks to catch and what , so you don’t waste your time in the dark and can spend your precious summer days either in the sun or in road construction traffic. Your choice.
Odds are the majority of you have seen, quoted and sometimes recreated “The Hangover” a hundred times by now, but to the very few that haven’t: It’s awesome.
It’s great to see a comedy succeed today not because of star actors, goofy special effects or mindless parody (“Dance Flick,” I’m looking at you). Rather, “The Hangover” succeeds solely because of its rock-solid concept, which is something like Judd Apatow meets “Memento.” You could take the same formula and make a stellar murder mystery, political thriller or paternity lawsuit, but “The Hangover” makes it funny instead.
We can skip “Land of the Lost” because I don’t think anyone saw it, including the studio that gave it the green light. Staying in and doing a “Superbad”/”Tropic Thunder” double feature is a much better way to enjoy the stars of “Year One.”
Which brings us to “Up,” yet another confirmation that Pixar can do no wrong. I would trust this studio with my children because they’re so reliable. Just remember to make it past the first 15 minutes, which are so sad they made Chuck Norris cry. I promise it gets funny later.
I actually didn’t see “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” I just wasn’t in the mood to watch robots fighting, which is strange because I did want to watch robots, just not fighting ones. If it were called “Transformers: Optimus Prime’s First Day of School” or “Megatron Goes to Washington,” I would be there in a heartbeat. So if you’re wondering how I’m qualified to write about this summer’s movies when I missed one of the biggest ones, the answer is that I saw the first “Transformers.” I can assure you that the sequel is the same thing with more robots, more explosions, more Megan Fox and an equal amount of suck.
“Brüno,” while not as good as “Borat,” is still worth seeing for its absurdist “Straight Dave” ultimate finale, which has to be one of the funniest (and most offense) scenes I’ve ever witnessed.
Even if “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” is just a teenage romance soap opera, watching Harry get high off liquid luck is worth the price of admission.
The best movie of the summer, though, has to be “The Hurt Locker.” Following a bomb disposal unit during their 2004 tour in Baghdad, this movie is so intense you might get post-traumatic stress disorder just from watching it. It never once lets you rest during its entire running time, and anyone who can handle it should check it out.
That’s all I got for now, but the season isn’t over yet. “Funny People” has such a somber trailer I think the movie’s title might be a typo, and “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” has me convinced that Beanie Babies will be next to cash in on the booming kid’s-toy-to-movie-franchise trend, but there’s bound to still be a sleeper out there. You’ll just have to look out for it.
And if I didn’t mention a movie you wanted to hear about, that’s because it wasn’t worth the effort it would’ve taken me to lift my finger and press it down on the keyboard (“Dance Flick,” I’m still looking at you).
