So you know those nights when you get into bed, but your brain is still wide-awake? And right when you’re about to fall asleep, an incredibly bizarre or insightful thought strikes you? Well that happens to me all the time. Not wanting these peculiar, random thoughts to go to waste, I have decided to share them with you all. Please keep in mind that for the most part, all of these random thoughts come from this past week. So without further ado…

I wonder if midgets are offended by the use of the phrase “When I was little” to describe childhood?

If I were I rapper, I would call myself Mr. Dre.

I have a suspicion that most unicycles are probably bi-curious.

Chinese fire drills are a lot of fun. Unless you are actually in China – then they’re no laughing matter.

I would like to see some more non-music related encores. Like after successful plastic surgery, or a great meal. Actually, I think that last one is called dessert. Never mind.

Once the class of 2009 graduates, no one will be left who remembers the days when SafeRide was called Escort Service. What a sad time that will be.

There’s a fine line between “people watching” and stalking/violating the terms of a restraining order. As they say in the movies, know your limits, Mr. Wayne.

If you ever get the chance, audition for something. Anything. Seriously, this year I tried out for just about every improv and a cappella group on campus, this despite having no experience or any discernable comedic or vocal abilities. The experience is awesome – you get to share your utter lack of skill with some of this school’s most talented people. And where else but college can you do stuff like that? (Wow, this went from “random thoughts” to “graduation speech” pretty quickly, huh? OK, back to rambling.)

Being the editor in chief of an encyclopedia has to be one of the coolest careers in world. I mean, it’s your job to determine what information is worthy of being chronicled in a book about everything. How sweet is that?

Pets, while great, are sort of a strange concept. Think about it: having a pet is essentially just the act of owning an adorable animal. To me, that’s kind of weird. Admirable, but weird.

Though funny, Family Guy is more of a pop culture cover band than a TV show. Also interesting: At some point, American Dad actually became a better show than Family Guy. Go figure that out.

Despite the flatteringly high expectations of its readers, The Daily Northwestern is, at its heart, a college newspaper. It is not the New York Times. It’s produced by full-time students who, when the right opportunity arises, aren’t averse to having a little fun with the publication that is at their disposal, and I think that’s pretty cool.

I would have to say eggs are my favorite edible animal byproduct, followed closely by milk. Butter, honey and cheese all earn honorable mentions.

The giraffe is a ridiculous creature. No wonder Toys ‘R’ Us has been pushed to the verge of bankruptcy – who wants to buy toys from an animal that’s 60 percent neck?

Finally, regardless of all the criticism that’s hurled its way by disgruntled students, NU’s a pretty awesome place. Especially in the spring.

Medill senior Ben Larrison can be reached at [email protected].