This season held so much promise for Northwestern’s men’s hoops team. The tall and talented recruits, the fast start and an impeccable home record. But once again, the powers that be have decided to smite the Wildcats from achieving some semblance of respectability.

As the Cats continue to be that team without an NCAA appearance, other streaks of futility are ending across the country. Boston College just beat Duke for the first time in 24 years. We managed to beat two ranked teams in a week. The Cardinals made the Super Bowl. Now it is just us and the Cubs. Two sorry North Side sports teams.

Though losses have stopped commentators from jinxing the Cats’ NCAA tourney chances, they haven’t yet ended a run for the NIT, which in my mind would be as good as anything.

But for that to happen, karma and clutch play need to help us.

Four points combined decided NU’s last two losses. Both were at home and both times the team had a chance to win in the final minute.

We certainly can’t blame the fans, who showed up in the heart of midterms to cheer louder than the Illinois fans for a midweek game.

We can’t blame the lack of height or the intensity of the players, who have played tough with the conference’s best this year. But something is still wrong. The team isn’t closing and for whatever reason, Welsh-Ryan isn’t making the Cats feel they are in “Hoosiers” anymore.

NU needs to bring in the football or lacrosse teams to help consult on winning ways. Or even the fencing team. Anything. Coach Bill Carmody has tried to be a consultant of late by ditching his tie and dressing like one. I don’t know what his experience as a trouble-shooter is, but I like his approach. At the end of last season, many observers thought a change of scenery was needed for this team.

Now something has changed. Coach, just make sure you don’t go for the Men’s Warehouse look of a mock turtleneck with your suit.

I like that Carmody is trying something new, but maybe more extreme measures are needed to make it to the postseason. The team is currently 13-10 and has at least seven games left including the conference tournament. The team needs to win three more to assure itself a shot at the NIT.

So Coach, maybe try the Riley look. Throw on a scowl and some hair grease and channel the inner Showtime on this team. Or maybe the inner Patrick Bateman in our players, as the econ majors not getting I-banking jobs would flock to games for that.

If that doesn’t make this squad play defense in the final minutes, take the Wildside a bit further by going Bill Walton. Throw on some Birkenstocks and a tie-dyed shirt under your blazer and just chill out.

But the final option would be to pass out Coach’s Cough Drops to the fans. Craig Moore hits 3-point shots like clockwork in practice while sniffing that aroma, so why not amplify it?

And if anything else, it would sooth our throats to cheer louder late in the game.

Brian Regan is a McCormick senior. He can be reached at [email protected].