“My T-shirt is Cool. My T-shirt is Poppin’.”

You’re damn right it is.

But that’s not the point.

The point is that as I write, Associated Student Government is debating a bill by the very same name that would allocate $678 of Northwestern’s hard earned money on T-shirts. These 125 100 percent cotton shirts for ASG senators to advertise how much they get done on the second floor of Norris every Wednesday night.

To quote the bill,: “The ASG Public Relations committee is looking to promote a fresher, more enthusiastic perspective of Associated Student Government to the Northwestern community…ASG, however, is lagging behind in the advertising race – these T-shirts are the first steps towards establishing a more cohesive Associated Student Government that is more intertwined with the Northwestern community.”

I couldn’t make this stuff up.

I understand ASG wants people to know it’s doing something. What student group doesn’t? Can you imagine the hissy fit A&O would throw if its logo wasn’t plastered on every stage, flier and banner at on-campus concerts? They have T-shirts… and hoodies!

Plus, to be fair, senators have to pay $3 a shirt, so more than half of the money will be paid back to the Senate’s bank account.

But there’s a fundamental disconnect in the logic here.

A&O buys T-shirts because they do things. Real, tangible things. It puts on concerts, and pretty good ones at that. (I saw Wilco and Andrew Bird in the same week my freshman year.)

What does ASG do?

ASG gives money to A&O so it can do things. Actually, ASG decides how much money Northwestern gives to A&O so they can do things. I don’t know if that counts.

ASG passes resolutions saying it agrees with the administration’s efforts to create a climate action plan. I don’t think that does either.

Oh wait, they spend half of each meeting debating how they should run meetings and than create investigative committees to see if they should vote on the debate that just happened. That has to count for something, right?

The sad thing is, ASG could do a lot. Its membership includes some of the most ambitious, involved people on campus. These are the type of people that think, “I’m gonna be somebody, someday.” And they’re probably right.

Every now and then it does something. ASG gave us the Saturday downown shuttle. It’s former president, Jon Webber, helped create a mid-winter version of Dillo Day with a budget of up to $200,000.

Now imagine if the Senate put all of this effort into such concrete results on a consistent basis. The only thing that even comes close as of late is the One Northwestern committee, but the only thing they’ve done is pass out T-shirts, and that’s what got us into this whole mess.

Here, I’ll help you out. Spend the next month perfecting Webber’s mid-winter event. Make it something kids will still be talking about when they come back for Homecoming in 25 years. That’s what it was meant to be. You have $100,000 from the administration and the proposal allows you to double that through ticket sales. You’d have to try to screw that up.

Now if President Neal Sales-Griffin is way ahead of me, I’m truly sorry. But as far as I know, nothing’s been done and the event is supposed to be three months away.

And with ASG’s talent pool, it can do a lot. If it wants to.