W hen I saw Dance Marathon’s emcee selections last week, I was surprised to recognize a familiar name chosen to replace half of the legendary TnA duo.

Surely, any emcee candidate must undergo a thorough background check to verify their commitment to charitable causes. That said, I was confused to see that my former Communication Residential College dormmate Benjamin Singer had been selected.

Every year CRC holds a radio-broadcasted fund raiser for the American Heart Association. My sophomore year, I decided to broadcast a show inspired by a popular 1930’s stunt – swallowing a live goldfish. Determined to raise as much money as possible, I created two funds: one favoring ingestion of “Nemo” and the other opposing. Soon after the event was announced, Benjamin Singer e-mailed the CRC listserv calling on residents to boycott my show. Now, I had no problem with this; he was exercising his freedom of expression.

But his protest quickly escalated. Soon the university had gotten urgent faxes from The Humane Society urging the university to stop me.

I was determined the show would be fair. If the “eat Nemo” fund won, I would eat the fish. Period. And that fund was ahead when I received a call at the radio station telling me Singer had called the police.

Apparently there’s a city ordinance against eating live animals.

Nonetheless, as I heard NUPD enter the building, I downed the fish. The cop was followed by Singer, videotaping everything. After a brief questioning, I was let off with a warning.

In the end, I raised nearly $150 dollars to help people with heart disease at the expense of a fish.

DM raised nearly $1 million last year and stands to raise a similarly large sum this March. Undoubtedly, some of the funds will be raised using unorthodox methods, perhaps similar to my own. My question is: Can Benjamin Singer stomach representing such an organization?

-JAKE SPRINGForum Editor