Talk about a slow news week. I guess some crazy Congresswitch from Minnesota called for an exposé on anti-American senators and congressmen. The McCarthyism continued when a McCain spokeswoman referred to the “real” Virginia. And then Palin referred to the “pro-America” part of the country, because the rest of us in liberal lala-land all pal around with terrorists while using the American flag as kindling for our crack pipes. Oh, and then she spent $150,000 on a redneck shopping spree.

Here’s the problem: The amateur, embarrassing antics of the GOP campaign isn’t even news anymore. I’ve achieved a Zen-like disregard for it, just as I have for President Bush.

But something caught my eye yesterday. I picked up the Daily hoping for some inspiration and instead found this thing called the Weekly. I read a fantastic article by Jennifer Chen about outed Republicans on campus.

They are, as Chen notes, few and far between. Let me be the first to say that it is refreshing to meet a Republican on campus. In some respects, there is a “real” America, and NU is far from it. So spotting a Republican in the wild is exhilarating. Frankly, they tend to know way more about politics and the basis of their beliefs than their liberal counterparts. This is part of being in the minority. Where most Democrats can go all day without talking to a Republican, and thus never having to defend themselves, Republicans constantly need to justify their beliefs. This makes them sharper, more articulate and more prepared to debate. This, of course, leaves many NU Democrats as articulate as Kanye West, and that’s coming from the world’s biggest Ye fan.

I remember one night in my fraternity when I met a Republican. We had invited girls over, because we are men, and that is what men are wont to do. After working up the nerve to talk to one, I proceeded to get spanked for supporting Obama, and in the least sexual way possible. She called my stance on torture na’ve and girly! She called my pro-choice position appalling and backwards! She called me a “West Wing” boy living in a “24” world!

And it was all, quite frankly, hot. She ran rhetorical circles around me. Now, granted, I was hammered, had lost my shirt and was wearing a beer bong on my head, so perhaps her treatment of me was a little cruel and unusual. Nevertheless, I had a great time talking to her. I wish I remembered her name.

So here’s the call to action at the end of my column that the rest of my colleagues do: Democrats, support the Republicans at NU, the rare Republicans who seek a college education. Their numbers are few, and they are brave. With few numbers comes little funding from the school. This unfairly stifles conversation, so – I never thought I’d say this – please start attending College Republican meetings with me. Everybody knows conservatives are hotter anyway. Just ask VPILF.