Today is October 4, and the Cubs are still playing baseball. This Cubs’ series against the Arizona Diamondbacks marks only the fourth time the Cubs have made the playoffs since I was born. To add a little perspective to things, the last time the Cubs won the World Series was four years before Arizona became a state. It’s not just that the Cubs are the loveable losers, or the curse of the billygoat, but it’s the knack they have for heartbreaking defeat, whether it’s the Steve Bartman-Alex Gonzalez eight run inning, Leon Durham through the wickets in ’84 (interesting side note: Leon Durham was Bill Buckner’s replacement after the Cubs traded him to Boston in ’84), or the epic collapse of 1969. Anyway, this got me thinking about the biggest disasters of my lifetime. Here are my top five:

5) “Battlefield Earth.” Believe it or not, I actually saw this movie. I’m not sure what is worse, the movie itself or that John Travolta actually thought it was a good movie. He even called it “‘Pulp Fiction’ for the year 3000.” That would probably make sense if “Pulp Fiction” was about Scientology and fat aliens with weirdly oversized bulges.

4) The time Fox cancelled “My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss” in the middle of the season. I honestly think this is the last time I cried. For those that don’t know, this show was a spoof of “The Apprentice,” but instead of Donald Trump, the boss was a professional actor who behaved as ridiculous as possible. Fox didn’t even air the final episode in which viewers find out the real boss is a monkey that spins a wheel to determine who gets fired. This makes me especially angry because nothing is funnier than monkeys dressed up in people clothes.

3) Creed. Creed is possibly one of the worst bands ever. Even the idea for the band was bad. I can imagine the people at Sony BMG sitting around saying, “Hey, why don’t we sign a pseudo-grunge, Christian rock group with an alcoholic lead singer that has no voice?” Although in Scott Stapp’s defense, it takes a lot of guts to demand a sobriety test when your BAC is 0.18. Also, nothing says Christian rock like a sex tape with Kid Rock and several girls. Insert “With Arms Wide Open” or “My Sacrifice” innuendo here (there were just too many to choose from).

2) One time, while walking home from Subway, I dropped my cookie into the sewer. It was one of those big ones with chocolate chips and M&Ms, and the Subway people had just finished a new batch, so it was fresh out of the oven. Needless to say, I was devastated. Sometimes, before I go to sleep, I like to imagine how it would have tasted.

1) The 2003 National League Championship Series. The Florida Marlins beat the Cubs in seven games.

I don’t want to talk about it. I had trouble eating for a week. This year will be different though.

Let’s go Cubs!

Weinberg senior Alec Hayden can be reached at [email protected].