When it comes to the canon of fashion trends, there are some items that reach such ubiquity that there’s no sense in really judging them. They’re the fire hydrants of the fashion landscape – omnipresent pieces of clothing that are so common that they’ve become uninteresting, even though they’ve remained harmless (cute, even). For example, just look at the (faux) fur-lined hoods on winter jackets.

Unlike other trends that I have lambasted, I find nothing ugly or stupid about these coats. (Full confession: I may just be saying that because I don’t want to offend every single person on this campus). Nonetheless, I understand you all have latent Eskimo fetishes, or that it’s some sort of outsider art, or that something is driving you to frame your face in synthetic fur. (If it’s real, I’m sorry for offending. Props to you for graduating from Abercrombie & Fitch and not yet pissing off PETA).

I don’t understand, however, why these coats have become panacea for subzero temperatures. I haven’t done much research into this, but I’m willing to bet that the two inches of fur adorning your hood keep you no warmer than a normal hood. In fact, most of the time, the fur garland is removable from your little Hollister bomber. So, if it has nothing to do with cold, why is everyone – from fashionable sorority girls to the random schmoe in your economics class – wearing the exact same coat?

Fashion tends to work in strata. Someone’s outfit looks cute if it happens to look better than the drones around them. When a trendy item becomes standard, like these freaking coats, then your look becomes staid. No matter what you wear under it, you’re still just a clone with some fur on your face. And come on, people, haven’t we evolved past that whole animal thing?

-Kurt Soller