David Kalan:

This weekend’s Super Bowl is a pretty interesting matchup in that it features two franchises with one Super Bowl championship each, and that those champions are from completely opposite ends of the spectrum.

The 1985 Bears who rolled over the Pats 46-10 in Super Bowl XX are often considered the greatest Super Bowl champion of all time. The 1970 Colts, meanwhile, are often considered the worst Super Bowl champions ever, winning Super Bowl V – an 11-turnover epic known as the “Blunder Bowl” – on a last second field goal against Dallas.

Of course that Colts team was so inept it doesn’t even have a trophy from that game, with the original and its replacement lost in a litany of franchise swapping and Mayflower truck moving.

This game may also feature the greatest and worst starting quarterbacks in Super Bowl history. I envision the game coming down to Rex Grossman throwing a surprising interception.

The interception itself won’t be surprising at all, but the fact that it will be picked off by Tiki Barber – who isn’t a defender, let alone on either of these teams – is likely going to be a shock to millions around the world.

Barber’s interception return for a touchdown as the clock expires to lift the Giants to their third – and least likely – Super Bowl title will fondly be remembered as another great moment when a hall of famer will walk off the field a champion like John Elway or Jerome Bettis.

In fact, the NFL will move the game to Barber’s hometown of Roanoke, Virginia where he can victoriously ride off in to the sunset.

Pick: Giants 7, Colts 3, Bears 0

Abe Rakov:

So the Super Bowl features two teams from the Midwest playing in the Magic City of Miami. Bringing together the Midwest and Miami takes me back to a horrible event in my life that needs to be rectified.

The year: 2003 (although it was the 2002 season). The venue: the Fiest Bowl in Tempe, Ariz. The stakes: the BCS National Championship. The teams: Ohio State and THE University of Miami.

That year the championship was cheated away from The U with a fake pass interfence call made about 10 minutes after the Hurricanes should have been holding a trophy.

Luckily, I hear here there’s a rematch in Miami on Sunday. Yes, Ken Dorsey will be back in South Florida (and yes, he is the long-lost brother of fellow fearless forcaster, Patrick Dorsey).

This time around, What You Talkin’ Bout Willis McGahee will run wild over the Ohio Fake defense. Dorsey (Ken, not Pat) will look like Joey Harrington (the Oregon Joey, not the NFL one).

Bullet-proof vest wearing, gun waving, Grey Goose toting Maurice Clarett will leave the game early in the first quarter, apparently suffering from craziness.

The Canes will get revenge, embarassing the Buckeyes. And because Miami will win by 113, the “you got knocked the *$&@!# out” rule goes into effect and the Canes get credit for the 2002 National Championship as well.

Pick: The U 75, Cheaters -38

Patrick Dorsey:

Once upon a time, a writer who shall remain nameless (me) wrote a newspaper article about Rex Grossman…

…and how great he was.

In his next game, Rexy made that writer proud.

Yep, with three interceptions. And a fumble. And a 31-13 loss to the floundering Nick Sabans.

Now, an editor’s mistake kept the story from actually running, but that doesn’t change anything. Rexy saw it.

OK, maybe not, but he sensed it with his Rexth sense.

And he knows he’s got to redeem himself.