By Bentley FordPLAY Columnist
The Kazakh president knows it: Borat is not desiring to make benefit for his country, the glorious nation Kazakhstan. Borat, the movie, just doesn’t go easy on the poor little Central Asian nation. According to Borat, Sacha Baron Cohen’s now notorious character, Kazakhstan harbors nothing but Jew-hating, urine-chugging, cow-punching, gay-bashing, sister-fucking, manure-throwing, women-selling, mustache-trimming men. (And the occasional gypsy bereft of all her tears.)
No wonder Kazakhstan launched a campaign here in the “US & A” to shield their international reputation. Apparently, Kazakhstan isn’t like this. And from what I’ve gathered, it really isn’t! I just met a foreign exchange student from Kazakhstan. He wasn’t the most civilized of mammals, but he had an iPod. I can tell you right now that they have yet to receive the iPod in Nebraska.
But even more telling was his movie taste: I invited him to The Departed, but he respectfully declined the offer. “Too much violence,” he said. Too much violence? It required every muscle in my mouth to hold back the obvious questions: “But wait, what about all those Jews thrown down the well for the freedom of your country? What about all those gypsies whose tears you forcibly removed for the safety of the children?”
So maybe Borat does not provide the most accurate representation of a nation that has, to their credit, made some progress over the years. At least millions of high school and college students now know Kazakhstan exists. There’s no such thing as bad publicity, President Nursultan Nazarbayev. Even Tom Cruise still gets by, and maybe even Mel, who both have an awful lot in common with Borat.
In actuality, Americans, not Kazakhs, should worry more about Borat. Are we running ads abroad to save our, uh, scintillating international reputation? Should we even bother? In the same way Kazakhs hope we try to learn about their nation and dispel Borat’s stereotype, we have to hope that, about us, the world knows better. We’re not all misogynistic frat boys, redneck car salesmen, humiliating faux cowboys and loonier-than-thou Evangelicals. Borat Sagdiyev may not exist, but all those guys do en masse.
Take that one frat boy in the camper, David Corcoran. He spoke to FHM this month and revealed that he and one boy still attend the University of South Carolina and are both still Chi Psi brothers. He says, however, that the third boy left the university. Perhaps the women on campus chased him out after they saw the movie? Or the various minorities that supposedly all the power?
Similarly, Jim Sell, the car salesman, told FHM, “While I was with him, I thought, ‘This guy’s going to make me look like an ass in his country.’ Instead, he’s going to make me look like an ass in my own country.”
And what an ass he made of you, Mr. Sell. But, hey, at least you’re not the Evangelicals. They deserve a break. Their gay-hating poster boy Ted Haggerty just confessed to – what did he call it? Oh yes: infernal sodomy. And let’s not forget all that meth! Millions of little evangelical boys and girls have to take down their autographed Haggerty posters now.
And yet Borat reveals something harder to discern for a cynic like me. Somewhere beneath all the vocal and grating intolerance hides patience and charity. Take, for instance, the humor coach who patiently tutors Borat in the fine art of the ‘not!’ joke. Or how about that driving instructor, who willingly put his cheeks to Borat’s lips and his life into Borat’s hands! (Well, kind of. I think we can assume Cohen can actually drive, so the instructor wasn’t at any real risk. But still. He thought he was, no?)
The most interesting example of this comes from the Southern diners who – despite their address on Secession Dr. – demonstrated admirable patience and tolerance in the face of Borat’s antics, which included insulting a man’s wife, hitting on two other wives and bringing a baggy full of his own feces to the table. You can’t really blame them for calling the police when he brought a prostitute over for dessert, as awesomely hilarious as the results could have been.
So does Borat really merit all this worrying? For the Kazakhs, maybe no. For us, maybe so. You see, I’m writing this on Tuesday, before the election results. At this very moment, I still have faith that the nation hasn’t been permanently overrun by homophobic, racist, Hummer-driving, gun-toting bigots who occasionally speak in tongues. I guess I’ll have to wait and see.
Communication sophomore Bentley Ford is the PLAY film columnist. He can be reached at [email protected].
