By Bentley FordPLAY Columnist
Saturday Night Live” owes “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” an apology. Just a simple, unadorned but earnest, “I’m sorry, man.” And then maybe “SNL” could ask, after an awkward pause, “Let’s hug it out, bitch?” I bet “Studio 60” would decline the invitation, because SNL’s behavior as of late – and by “as of late,” I mean “for the past half-decade”- has been inexcusable.
Sorkin and friends have been killing themselves the past few weeks trying to raise the bar of programming on TV, and “SNL” has failed to clear it. When a sister show explicitly decries “SNL,” daring them to do better, and Lorne Michaels and company don’t meet the challenge, what’s the point in watching?
On the season premiere, a skit (starring downright mediocre host Dane Cook and some other guy who looks new) references “Studio 60” directly.
Dane Cook’s character explains, in bit of self-referential quasi-comedy, that if the skit’s not funny enough for “SNL,” they can just give it to “Studio 60.”
Not funny enough for “SNL?” I can just imagine the fresh-faced and drunk-with-delusion writer who penned that perfectly pathetic line: He’s fresh out of college, and he’s wearing this really clever shirt that he bought at Urban Outfitters with the words “NEEDS MORE COWBELL!” printed across it.
Christopher Walken delivered this classic line more than six years ago. Since then, the only memorable moments have been the direct results of mistakes, mostly from guest stars.
The funniest moment since then? That one time Lindsay Lohan and Rachael Dratch couldn’t stop laughing in Debbie Downer.
The most memorable moment since then? That one time Ashlee Simpson kind of stepped on her lines, so to speak, and then did that little dance. Both of these admittedly unforgettable moments were mistakes and mishaps. If they had gone as rehearsed, no one would remember them.
Needless to say, “SNL” needs a little more than cowbell right now.
First and foremost, the cast sucks. Do you remember “All That” and “Good Burger” from your Nickelodeon days? If so, then you remember Kenan Thompson. Believe it or not, he’s a cast member now, which is too bad, but actually not the worst part. Here’s the worst part: He’s one of the funniest regulars on right now.
Of course, there’s also Darrel Hammond and Maya Rudolph, who I find consistently entertaining, but they’re only used peripherally – when they need a paunchy, middle-aged white man or any woman of any imaginable ethnicity. Then there’s Amy Poehler, who kind of sucks but at least gives us a familiar face.
That leaves seven regulars. They just look like interlopers, trespassing and treading upon our childhood nostalgia. Gone are the days of Horatio Sanz and Tina Fey and, reaching further back, comedic Jolly Green Giants Chris Farley and John Belushi. Unfortunately, these new guys could be great, and we’d never know it. Why?
Because the writing has sunk to new lows. The cast never has the opportunity to strut their stuff. The writers have forced them to do the same “Bush is such a goof!” sketch since he took office. Just because he’s been an idiot for years, guys, doesn’t mean you get to be one, too. It doesn’t work like that. And as “Studio 60” notes on its third episode, it’s easy to make fun of Bush “when his approval ratings are seven guys in Tupelo, Mississippi.”
So what does “SNL” need to do? It needs to find new writers. Before anything else, it needs to remember its roots: not to establish celebrity or plug new movies, but to deliver the funniest television available; not just political satire, but also lighthearted affairs; not just recurring sketches, but standalone skits; not just cultural in-jokes, but old-fashioned funny.
From there, they can worry about the cast, the stars, the hosts and popularity. But without the strong writing, there’s absolutely no reason to watch. Maybe “SNL” can borrow Sorkin for an episode, and then get Matt Perry and Bradley Whitford to co-host it. Hey, wait a second – I think that might work.
But, until then, keep this Jack Handey Deep Thought in mind: “Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.”
Consider this your warning and perhaps a preemptive diagnosis: If you keep watching “SNL” in its current state, you’re gonna get Consumption.
Communication sophomore Bentley Ford is a PLAY film columnist. He can be reached at [email protected].
