Brandon Ray isn’t in it for the girls.

The Weinberg senior might serenade women on Gone Greek Night and attend exchanges with sororities in Chicago, but he couldn’t care less about attracting Northwestern students in little black dresses.

Ray is one of a few openly gay men who decide to pledge fraternities. Ray, like other gay college men, said his sexual orientation has not detracted from his experience in the Greek community.

Existing peacefully

Ray decided to pledge the Delta Chi fraternity nearly four years ago. As a freshman on a mostly sophomore floor, he was having trouble meeting people in the dorms. Then he met a few active members in Delta Chi who invited him to the house to hang out. Pretty soon, the self-proclaimed “least likely to rush” guy in high school was deciding to pledge a fraternity.

At the time, there weren’t any other openly gay members of Delta Chi. But Ray said his sexuality wasn’t a big issue.

“There’s the fraternity world and there’s the gay world. They tend not to mix,” Ray said. “But you can exist peacefully within the two worlds.”

Initially Ray wasn’t sure where he would fit in as a gay student at NU. He didn’t think he’d assimilate well into what he saw as stereotypically gay cliques — the theater majors and the activists — and felt like he was distanced from the living places of other gay students.

Wearing a muted gray sweater, faded blue jeans and brown boots, Ray doesn’t fit the mold of a collar-popping, beer can-crushing frat boy. In high school and the beginning of college, he always had a lot of female friends, but he had a tougher time forming a cohesive group of male friends, he said. Delta Chi helped this situation by providing a stable place to be with the guys.

“I’m the same nerdy person I always was, but I’ve become a lot more outgoing and self-confident,” Ray said.

When Ray attends formals and date parties, he usually brings along a female friend. If he were dating a man, Ray said he probably would feel comfortable bringing his significant other.

McCormick junior Dan Caplan, also a Delta Chi member, said he thinks the house would respond positively if Ray brought a male as a date to a frat event.

“We’d be very accepting if he decided to bring a gay partner,” Caplan said.

‘Few gay people’

Phi Kappa Psi brother Greg Phillips said he also is the only openly gay member of his fraternity, but he felt comfortable not conforming to straight customs when he went to a fraternity formal two years ago at the Millennium Knickerbocker Hotel in Chicago. Phillips showed up in drag.

“I wore this awesome red dress and Catherine Zeta-Jones wig,” said Phillips, a Weinberg senior.

Although he now lives off campus, Phillips said he was open about his sexuality when he lived in the fraternity’s house. He said he would bring guys home to spend the night. But Phillips, who helped coordinate Rainbow Week for Rainbow Alliance last year, does feel atypical at times, especially when his brothers discuss how they treat women.

“In the handbook it tells you how to be a gentleman, and everyone’s always talking about hos and things like that,” he said.

Phillips, whose “heart is engaged,” eventually plans to get married in Massachusetts. He said he’s ending his college career with mixed opinions on Greek life.

“Fraternities have good intentions and good goals, but single-sex separation isn’t the best way to do that,” he said. “There are few gay people, few black people and no women. The effect of that environment isn’t the best for everyone.”

Different mission

One national fraternity, formed in 1986, maintains the single-sex environment but offers a different mission from the more traditional Greek organizations. The 21 campus chapters of Delta Lambda Phi strive to “enhance the quality of life among gay, bisexual and progressive men,” according to the fraternity’s mission statement.

Iowa State University graduate student Brian Olechnowski, 22, started a chapter at his school in December.

“The campus is very open toward us,” he said, adding that Delta Lambda Phi shares the same goals as the 30 existing fraternities at Iowa.

Phillips said he hadn’t really considered the possibility, but he would consider joining a gay fraternity if a chapter existed at NU.

“The house would be cleaner and the food would be tastier,” he said, laughing.

But Ray said he’s not sure Delta Lambda Phi would suit his interests any more than Delta Chi.

“I’d join if I found I fit in well with the group, but it’s really just about where your loyalties lie,” he said. “It’s a band of brothers.”

Reach Maren Dougherty at [email protected].