Here’s an excerpt from the play I’ve been writing. It’s called “The Happy Clam.”

ACT IV, scene v

The military-industrial complex.

SECRETARY CRYING: Gentlemen. We are here today gathered to discuss the metempsyphystomolethicological answer to the nuclear question.

THE PRESIDENT: (raises his hand) The answer is “Yes!”

SECRETARY CRYING: (shushes him) Please. Under Secretary Shame has the floor.

UNDER SECRETARY SHAME: (stands and recites) This is the poetry of my heart / Stop me ere I even start —

THE PRESIDENT: Stop!

SECRETARY CRYING: We now shall view a short presentation.

MEMORY: (slips her fingers into their brains) See.

(A rocket in a meadow, picking daisies.)

THE ROCKET: He loves me. He loves me not.

(A child)

FIRST DAISY: He loves.

(hurtles)

SECOND DAISY: Me he loves.

(through the sky,)

FIRST DAISY: Me?

(achieves its target.)

SECOND DAISY: Not.

(A mushroom cloud blooms, wilts.)

THE ROCKET: Ow.

THE CLAM: Are you not happy?

SECRETARY CRYING: (crying) I seem to remember that differently.

MEMORY: (screams)

JUDGE KNOT: (pounds his gavel) Order! Order!

THE COMMUNIST: It is obvious, for example, that the use or threat of force can no longer and must no longer be an instrument of foreign policy.

THE VICE PRESIDENT: (impatiently) The floor shall now hear from General Crull.

(Enter GENERAL CRULL.)

RONALD REAGAN’S CORPSE: A kiss, Crull?

CRULL: A kiss.

EGO: (snarls) Ug. Id.

ID: Eh? What’s ‘at? C’Monday, RR.

RONALD REAGAN’S CORPSE: I don’t know where I’m going.

ID: Never stopped you before.

THE GHOST OF TOM JOAD: See the little girl crying along the way?

ID: He can’t see nothing no more.

(They exit.)

WALTER CRONKITE: And that’s the way it was.

AND: Is.

AND EVER: Shall be.

THE COSMOS: World without end.

SECRETARY CRYING: (laughing) Meeting adjourned.

(Existence stops.)

(Exeunt.)

  

Act V scene vi

The Palace of the King.

ALL THE FLOWERS: (swaying) Where have we gone?

JOE DIMAGGIO: Sink. Sank. Sunk. (turns his lonely eyes to) Who?

OUR NATION: (turns its lonely eyes to) You.

Jim Wagner is a Weinberg senior. He can be reached at [email protected].