At Northwestern dating gets much the same treatment as other storied rumors such as the abominable snowman and the Loch Ness Monster: Popular opinion says it doesn’t exist.
“There’s not a whole lot of dating,” Weinberg sophomore Jonathan Moore said. “You’re basically married to someone or there are a lot of hook-ups.”
Some students, though, have a sense of humor about it.
“The really cheap guys try to pretend that taking a girl to a dining hall counts as a date,” joked Weinberg freshman Serena Raheja.
But if consensus is strong that dating on campus is weak, the question on many student’s minds is: Why?
The suburban atmosphere of Evanston could play a role, students said.
At lunch in the Allison dining hall, Music senior Melissa Treinkman discussed her dating life.
“I usually try to get out of Evanston,” she said. “When you go to a place like Lincoln Park or downtown, to a bar, there’s a lot more opportunity. People will just ask you out.”
Around NU, Treinkman said, “It’s not really the same experience.”
But for many, the Greek scene offers a break from the anxiety that might accompany a traditional date.
Date parties are a popular tradition that have survived the downturn in general dating on campus, students said. The idea is simple — a fraternity or sorority organizes an event, perhaps bowling or renting out a dance club, and then the members bring dates.
“I mean, it’s a new concept to me, but I am a huge fan,” said Music freshman Arianna Warsaw-Fan.
This year Warsaw-Fan has been to one date night sponsored by two different fraternities.
“When you’re at dinner with someone and it’s one on one, there’s a lot of pressure to make good conversation … it’s pressure on both sides,” she said. “But on date nights, the level of comfort is so much better.”
With their friends around, said Warsaw-Fan, the fraternity members are more relaxed, and, consequently, so are their dates.
“You get the quality time with the people, you’re with them for the whole night, but it’s not like taking an exam,” she said.
Alexandra SoloMonday, a clinical psychologist at NU’s Family Institute who teaches Marriage 101, said the trend away from traditional dating may be a symptom of college students’ changing view of marriage.
“My first thought is that hook-up culture is a reflection of this generation’s pessimism about marriage,” Solomon said. “The research has shown that most college-aged people plan to get married and hope to get married, but they have a lot of fear and doubt about marriage.”
Solomon added that college may no longer be the right time to start relationships.
“If you think you’re not getting married until later, there’s less of a press to find that person in college,” she said.
Solomon said there are both benefits and disadvantages to a “hook-up culture.”
On the one hand, she said, it allows students to explore their sexuality.
On the other, she added, it also creates an environment where complex emotions are forcibly repressed, which might create problems down the road.
“When it comes time to build long term relationships, there are different rules,” she said.
Reach Jordan Weissmann at [email protected].
