I accomplished something monumental this week: I used the elliptical machine at the gym.
See, Molly is to Blomquist Recreation Center as Bush is to Iraq — I dabble in the region but remain clueless as to what exactly it is that I’m doing there.
It’s no surprise that campus-gym use increases during Winter Quarter. But it’s not just the fanatics that get into their Spandex and head off to the Sports Pavilion and Aquatic Center. Those faithful to running or blading by the lake are forced inside to break a sweat, and New Years’ resolutions weigh on students’ consciences. For others, visions of a sunny and scantily clad Spring Break loom large.
But I count myself in a different group of gym-goers. I couldn’t care less about routine, form or muscle definition. I go to the gym for fun.
My friend Lauren Neuman, a Communication senior, is to thank for every calorie I’ve burned in the past year. We work off more gossiping and gesturing wildly than we do on the stationary bike or treadmill.
We know those happen to be the easiest machines in the gym. Now you see why the elliptical was our Everest.
Sometimes we don’t even make it for our weekly sweat sessions, but we get so excited instant messaging about it the night before that I feel like stretching when I sign off.
Exercise is our social agent. Much like students join club teams or play pick-up ball, the gym is our time to catch up, away from books and booze. Forget how many reps we log or what pace we sustain. Endorphins are flying left and right. As we say in our Martha Stewart voice, “It’s a good thing.”
Working out seems to have particularly redemptive powers when the thermometer dips below freezing.
“When it’s dark at four in the afternoon and there’s snow everywhere, problems seem compounded,” Communication senior Sonia Deninzon says. “It’s nice to control something when it seems like the weather’s controlling you.”
Deninzon, my roommate and a desk attendant at Blomquist and Patten Gym, says high winter stress levels pack campus gyms with eager beavers. She avoids the rush by hitting up Evanston Athletic Club, a place far too hot for Lauren or I to handle.
Speaking of which, back to the elliptical. It had been our holy grail for some time. We had watched smiling girls effortlessly bounce up and down. It looked fun and, famous last words, easy. Since that obviously is what we shoot for, on Tuesday we finally took on the Precor.
And angered it.
Everything was fine until overzealous Lauren suggested we spice it up. We were elliptical virgins, and Lauren whipped out the Kama Sutra.
“Backwards? You want to go backwards?” I gasped. “Can we do that?”
Well apparently “one” can do that, just not necessarily “we.” Backwards we went for about 47 seconds, until Lauren felt nausiated and I almost lost my balance. It’s amazing the man next to us kept reading. Give him a medal.
When we finished our “workout,” we rewarded ourselves with fajita burritos, grocery shopping and the Escort Service. We’re not athletes, but baby, it’s cold outside.
Molly Browne is an Medill senior. She can be reached at [email protected].
