The pink-haired speaker positioned her sex toys in a row on the podium, pointing to one soft, blue, bumpy, phallic object with a wink.

“It’s called ‘the Marge,'” said Searah Deysach, referring to the vibrator’s similarity to the “The Simpsons” character with a gigantic puff of blue hair.

A crowd of more than 160 Northwestern students — mostly female — erupted into giggles.

Deysach, who owns Early to Bed, Chicago’s first sex-shop geared toward women, gave the skinny Tuesday night on how to have good sex in a fireside sponsored by emPOWER — a part of NU’s Panhellenic Association that focuses on women’s issues. Curious coeds packed the Michigan Room of Norris University Center to learn the finer points of self-love.

Jennifer Hochstadt, the group’s fireside co-chairwoman, said emPOWER brought Deysach to put a “positive spin” on sex and provide a shift away from more serious fireside topics.

“You hear so much about eating disorders, (sexually transmitted diseases) and safe sex,” said Hochstadt, a Weinberg sophomore. “We wanted to bring something fun. It’s not just (about) safe sex, but better sex.”

After an introduction by Director of Health Education Ken Papineau on STDs, Deysach stepped to the plate — using several visual aids.

Sex with a partner works better if one is well acquainted with his or her own equipment, she said. “It’s a good idea to masturbate with a partner. It may be hard because it’s kind of … eww-gee.”

She then gave students loads of advice.

Deysach brandished a vibrator called “Lily,” also known as “The Rabbit,” that stimulates both the vagina and the clitoris. The device, once featured on the cable-television show “Sex and the City,” is perfect for someone who wants “a toy you turn on and don’t have to do shit” with to enjoy yourself, Deysach said.

“I know women who wouldn’t leave the house without ’em,” she said.

Deysach, who is also a sex columnist for Punk Planet magazine, said men who come to her for advice often have one burning question.

And she’s got the answer down.

“You can’t make your dick bigger. You can’t make your dick bigger. You can’t make your dick bigger,” she said. “Learn how to use them.”

She suggested shaving pubic hair to make penises seem larger.

And though many young people don’t consider anal sex an option, Deysach said most people have tried it by the time they reach age 30.

After her talk Deysach fielded questions about anal beads and general safety precautions.

“Don’t ever put anything in your butt that you can’t hold onto,” she said.

In the question and answer session, Deysach said women can train themselves to have multiple orgasms.

“Work on it, she said. “Take a couple days off (from) class.”

emPOWER members raffled off about a dozen items worth more than $300 from Deysach’s store. Prizes ranged from a “Tasty Yum Pack” containing flavored condoms and lick-able tattoos to lubricant, guides on how to give oral sex and nipple clamps.

Audience member Steve Crowe said he was happy to win a jar of chocolate body paint.

“I can’t wait to use it and find out if it really tastes like chocolate,” said Crowe, a Weinberg sophomore.

Although some students yelled “eww” and laughed at some of the topics Deysach touched on, Crowe said he wasn’t so shocked.

“I’m a bit more open minded than some people in there,” he said. “I was like, ‘Yeah, I’ve tried that.'”