I was sitting in a lecture room in the Technological Institute, decompressing after a lengthy section on the practice Medical College Admissions Test. Chatting with my fellow test-takers, we were complaining about the nine-hour test and its mind-churning passages, when one student noted, “Wow, that passage about soil was pretty gay.” I was taken aback by the off-hand comment, and at the moment, I just let it slide.
As I started the final section of the practice MCAT, struggling through the esterification diagrams, I couldn’t stop replaying the comment in my head. But hey, who am I to complain? Years ago, even before I met any gay people, I used the comment habitually. You hear it everywhere. It’s from the basketball court, “Jeez, that was a gay pass,” or in the classroom, “What a gay book!” It’s just a substitute for “weird” or “stupid.”
The phenomenon also applies to “retard.” We spout it out as if it gained a new meaning in the dictionary, “Look at that retarded construction up north!” I used it like any other colorful adjective years ago, until I said to a high school friend, “Wow, that joke was pretty retarded.” I quickly covered my mouth, remembering that her older brother was mentally retarded. Coiling back in embarrassment, I was ashamed about my comment. It seems that we only care about this form of discrimination, however slight it may be, whenever it relates to the person conversing with us.
But why should we use “retard” or “gay” in place of “weird” or “stupid?” It simply reinforces the stack of negative stereotypes toward these groups, which many of us don’t even mean to discriminate against. It’s the same inherent discrimination that’s being challenged now by the American Academy of Pediatricians, headquartered in Elk Grove Village. Last week, this organization of over 55,000 pediatricians announced their support for same-sex parental adoption.
Based on scientific research, the academy reports, “There is no systematic difference between gay and non-gay parents in emotional health, parenting skills, and attitudes toward parenting … Parents and children have better outcomes when the daunting tasks of parenting are shared.”
This is vindication for children who have at least one gay parent. The academy focuses on legal adoption rights for partners of gay and lesbian parents, and also supports gays and lesbians who want to adopt together. Only six states, including Illinois, and the District of Columbia have made second-parent adoption legal so far.
It underscores the stereotypes that rattle around somewhere in our subconscious. Rulings, like in Pennsylvania, that ban same-sex adoptions, send the message that gay and lesbian couples are unfit to raise children, perhaps even more prone to molestation. Some insist that there needs to be a masculine and a feminine influence on a child. But study after study, and even a little common sense, confirms that children with same-sex parents grow up just like the rest of us.
It’s the same stereotypes that drive derogatory remarks about gays and retards. It would be shameful to hurl ethnic slurs these days, so why let other offensive comments slide on by? I didn’t. After the MCAT, I whirled around and calmly suggested that my fellow student think twice before he compares me to another MCAT passage again. With groups like the American Academy of Pediatricians defending gay and lesbian rights, we realize that every human being deserves the same respect and dignity – whatever the context.
